The mayor handed out a harsh etiquette lesson to city workers after he read a newspaper column describing a telephone caller's rude treatment. ``I was livid. I was very frustrated,'' Mayor Joseph R. Paolino Jr. said Friday. ``That's just the kind of action I've been trying to ferret out of City Hall.'' Paolino delivered a tongue-lashing in person to the Department of Inspection and Standards Thursday after reading the columnist's account of her attempt to get a zoning question answered. The mayor also transferred one employee suspected of rudeness to a job where he will not have to field incoming calls. The columnist, Gayle Gertler of The Providence Journal, wrote that two city divisions referred her back and forth and one worker responded to her questions by saying, ``You're not listening, dear.''