
##1002054 Beyond the Garden <p> He knew he wanted to taste to that fruit as badly as she did . On his own , he would have come round to it in time , terrified though he was by his father 's commands . But since her arrival , he had lost the habit of fetching his own food . Instinctively , it seemed , she gave him part of whatever fruits she picked for herself , till it came to seem instinctive in him to wait . ( Besides , he enjoyed watching her climb the trees . ) Very possibly , he admitted in the privacy of his heart , he had been waiting for that very fruit . <p> So from the moment he betrayed her to his father - the thundering , awesome voice that must come from an equally awesome shape , or shamelessness - he felt slightly ashamed , an unfamiliar , unwelcome feeling . Ashamed not of eating but of the telling . Of course his father would have found out ( he knew everything yet seemed to relish humiliating him by @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ shifty guilt each time he looked at her or touched her , a guilt more particular and acute than a vague , encompassing guilt he felt in his father 's presence . And she certainly did n't make things any easier : Docile acceptance was not in her nature , in the beginning , at any rate . She railed and stormed about loyalty , and said being a helpmeet worked both ways , he utterly failed to understand her being with him and all it implied .... Like his father , she had words at her command , piercingly direct words , and the more she spoke the worse he felt . <p> Well , let her complain . There were things she could n't begin to comprehend . What it was to have such a father , for one . How would she like to have awakened , all alone , to the sound of a voice that covered you like a tide , that could n't for a moment let you forget it was the source , that whatever you did and used and enjoyed came from his @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ it was abundantly clear where she came from ( it was going a bit far , he thought sullenly , to remove his rib while he innocently slept - you 'd think a man could call his body his own ) , his ambiguous origins made him uneasy . That the voice was his father , everything 's father , was plain enough . Yet he was told too that he came from a handful of dust . Hardly reassuring to be made of dust . At the moments of his greatest strength , when he sported with the animals or swam across the stream , he would suddenly remember , Dust , and shiver with intimations of crumbling , dissolving . And could she feel how heavy a burden it was to live up to his father 's image ? For those were the cryptic words he must live by - made in his image - yet how could a creature of dust aspire to such grandeur ? By constant striving and self-discipline , that was how ; by measuring every action against the example of that mighty voice . @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ In her view , he worried far too much over his relation to his father . Why not concentrate instead on his relation to her , a notion that struck him as sacrilege . She just was n't important enough in the scheme of things , delightful as it might be to play with her and end up , more often than not , in an embrace . Did his father indulge in such lush joys ? Inconceivable . Well , it was one thing to yield briefly , which was no doubt what his father had intended , and quiet another to take it seriously : hardly in that sober image . <p> So he had heeded his father 's voice and told the truth , as he was taught to do ( if threats were a valid form of teaching ) , and they were cast out of the garden to a colder , craggier place , where he could never hear the voice approach without anxious trembling . They were poor , as warned , but the work did not trouble him - in truth , the idleness @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ to suspect he was made for more than leisure , that he had the resources to achieve something , perhaps great things . Look at all his father had done ! Surely if he was made in his image , he might accomplish something by his labor . If work was his curse he was prepared to endure it , even enjoy it . <p> He did n't grasp the nature of her curse until he saw it enacted . Here was no curse but a blessing . Of all the stupendous things , of all the examples of his father 's inventiveness , this was the most miraculous . She heaved and moaned and tossed while he , standing helplessly by , thought at first that it must be Death , so far only a baffling , dread word . At last , out of all her heaving , came another exactly like him . Her wails stopped immediately and she laughed in astonishment . But something nagged at his own astonished joy . Why had his father given this great power to her ? Could she possibly be the @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ dust and she of firmer stuff ? As for the child , it had what neither of them had ever known , a mother . Everyone - father , wife , child , seemed more privileged than he , mere dust and motherless . All that distinguished him were his strength and his will to work . <p> The next year there was another like him , and he marveled anew . The others were like her ; perhaps for that reason he did not note them down in the records he had begun to keep , or perhaps it no longer seemed so miraculous . Besides , he began to have the discouraging feeling that they belonged more to her than to him , what with her carrying them and nursing them and the long hours spent in their company while he was at work . He sensed her gradually turning away from him and toward them . She still came to him when he wanted her , but not with exclusive attention ; it was possible she loved them more . And just as these thoughts came to trouble @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ . <p> It was he who discovered them , and who heard the older one saying those unimaginable , unforgivable words to the great voice , which thundered more terrifyingly now than when they had left the garden ages ago . When it finally withdrew , leaving him to gaze at his sons , on one defiant , confused , and ashamed , the other a mangled body on the grass , he understood he had lost them both forever . He grieved mightily , his first wrenching grief . He grieved , yet having known resentment and frustration , he saw dimly how a man might strike out with dumb force . <p> He grieved and mourned them both , but her grief was inconsolable . Once so lavish with words , now she had none to hold what she felt . Anger , spite , deceit , yes , she was familiar with many ugly things by now , but this was beyond her grasp . The life oozed out of her as it had out of the boy , though she still breathed and moved . She lost @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ ? she replied when he tried to rouse her . And seeing her grown older and sad beyond reach , he knew there would be no more children ; that power had left her , or else the will to use it . <p> No one remained but his daughters , who looked almost as she had when she first appeared . Up to this moment he had regarded them simply as tender children to take care of , who could help with the work when they grew strong enough . Now , with unease , he found himself watching as they moved through the house or the fields , precisely as he had once watched her , bewitched by every nuance of contour and movement . Would it be so very wrong ? It was nothing his father had specifically forbidden . On the contrary , had n't he ordered them to be fruitful and multiply ? <p> In time he bred a long line of sons and daughters , whose vices multiplied with their numbers . After her shock at the first brutal act , none of it surprised @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ but with mute disapproval . She did not often rebel at the way things went - but her silence was worse than her occasional open rebellion . Her silence haunted him , and her yielding , with its tacit skepticism , he found unbearable : His own skepticism was hard enough to bear . <p> Her silence cast it pall over the numberless projects absorbing his every waking hour . For his talent , he had discovered over many seasons , was for invention : He made machines - massive and powerful , delicate and intricate - that could perform miracles never dreamed of in the garden . Perhaps even his father had never dreamed of them , although that was hard to say : He was no longer in close touch with his father , speaking to him only with unavoidable , and in a perfunctory way . Strange to say , his father seemed content to do the same . <p> The machines could control the elements , channel water , cut through rock , and tear through sky . They were his whole delight , they swelled his @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ his own body . He learned she had not accomplished that first miracle , ages back , no her own . She could never have done it without hi , . The discovery made him look on her with a kind of contempt , a satisfying contempt that eased his secret doubts and timidities . It was a relief to feel it , for he had been eaten by envy from the start , or at least from the moment he knew the shame of betraying her . Now the shame had found a safe casing ; it could be sealed in contempt like a bitter nut in its shell . <p> In his new arrogance , he was willing enough to cede to her the domestic sphere , so lacking in grandeur . But after much thought , he decided that even there , it was his part to invent the machinery and hers to operate it , under his guidance . Such an arrangement , he reasoned , was more or less similar to the way the babies were produced . It was , come to think of it @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ . How pleased he was to have solved the riddle of how to live up the image after all , and how laughably easy it was . The solution had been there all along - to treat her as his father had treated him . <p> His program worked in disconcerting ways , though , perhaps because he was not his father but only an image . He invented countless things to save her travail , but since he never attempted to use them , he found himself at her mercy - waiting for her to prepare his food and stitch his clothes , keep his worldly affairs in order and educate the children in his own image . From the largest matter down to the lowliest ice-cube tray , for instance , whose cubes he awaited for her to extract - he felt powerless . And exasperated , no matter how efficiently she went about her business . Indeed , the more efficient she was , the more he was exasperated . <p> There was only one thing to do . Tentatively , in secret , he approached the machines @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ procedures . And he found that with practice and application , with patience of a sort he had believed , contemptuously , was patience of a sort he had believed , contemptuously , was alone and a slavish virtue , he was able to fend for himself , to handle his affairs as well as have food and clean clothes at his pleasure ; he could even wheel the babies in their carriages and teach them what they needed to know . By his own humble efforts he could do all manner of extraordinary things . <p> And thus Adam , though he would never free himself of the giant shadow of his father 's image , at least managed to free himself from the skills of Eve . Once this happened , she began to glance at him with a keener interest , for she too had long nursed a mute contempt for his theories , his evasions . She still could not countenance what he sanctioned in his sons , and she would never care much for his father 's treats and bravado , but since he was the @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ welcomed him , and grew spirited and beautiful once again . <p> Illustration ( The Fall of Man , 12th century Byzantine illumination ) <p> 
##1002058 This Thing Between Men and Women <p> " He said he 'd pay a dollar an hour , " my mother coaxes . " While Marie 's on her honeymoon , he just has to have some help with the store . " <p> " What about his other girl , what's-her-name ? " <p> " Oh Colleen could n't stay alone in the house with Sam while Marie is gone . It would n't be proper . She 's going home for the week , but she 'll be back when Marie and her husband come back . " <p> Sam 's girls are sisters , country girls he hired three years ago to cook and clean and help run the store . <p> " You mean Marie and her husband are going to live there too ? " <p> " Sam said it would only be temporary , until they can find a place . Besides , Marie 's husband is a sailor , so he 'll be gone most of the time . " <p> Sam is six-foot-three , three inches taller than my father @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Sam stands up straighter , though , and is not as bunchy around the middle . When Sam comes to see my father , they go to the basement and talk in hushed tones , sorting papers at my father 's desk . My mother wo n't let me go down there when they 're talking . <p> " Your father would be out of business if it were n't for Sam , " my mother reminds me . " He 's never been able to manage his affairs . Sam 's a good friend to help your father and if we can help him back somehow we should . " <p> " How is he helping Dad ? " I do n't discuss the business with my father anymore , not since I stopped going with him in the truck . <p> " Sam lent your father a lot of money , " my mother says . " The candy companies would n't sell to him anymore until he paid his bills . Sam 's your father 's partner now , but I do n't think he 'll make much @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ ruin him . " " Is Sam rich ? " <p> " He 's comfortable , " my mother pronounces the word carefully . " He has his store and his house , all paid for . And his car , a brand new 1959 Pontiac . " <p> I want to ask why Sam is doing this but I do n't . There is something doglike about Sam , with his brown eyes shining behind his glasses , his swarthy complexion , and his big hands covered with black hair . I 'm not sure I like him . When he says " I do n't got " instead of " I do n't have , " little shudders run down my back . <p> " A dollar an hour is good pay , " my mother urges . " That 's almost as much as Annette earns at Zeller 's . " <p> At fourteen and three-quarters , I 'm not old enough for a real job like Annette 's . Right now I have to babysit a whole evening for a dollar . <p> " Okay , " @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ " <p> My first day at Sam 's store is a Friday , the day before Marie 's wedding . My father brings me over in the truck . <p> " This is a good opportunity for you , Nicole , " he says . " You can learn some valuable things about business if you pay attention . " I think of Sam and my father , talking in the basement . " But do n't tell anyone you 're under sixteen , " he says . " It 's against the law , and Sam could get in trouble . " <p> The truck farts and lurches down the street ; my father holds the steering wheel with both hands . His knuckles are red and puffy . I think of all the money he borrowed from Sam Dugas . <p> The store itself is only slightly larger than our living room ; I had expected something huge and extravagant . It is , however , meticulously clean , much cleaner than any of the stores I saw when I used to go with my father on his rounds @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ the tile floor gleams like Sam 's new Pontiac . <p> " You work the cash register like this , " Sam says , bending over me and pressing the small keys with his big fingers . He speaks with an Acadian accent like my uncles in Digby County do , thudding his th 's , as if his tongue is so thick and heavy he ca n't make it do what he wants it to do . His white shirt is open at the collar and his sleeves are rolled up . A faint smell of spicy cologne drifts over from his neck . <p> " When the kids come in to buy candy , watch them , " Sam tells me . " Sometimes they put things in their pockets " -- " tings , " he says , der pockets . " He looks down at me through the bottom half of his bifocals and winks , as if it 's a game to catch them at it . <p> I like Sam more today , I decide , watching him bustle around his store , adjusting a @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ rest . <p> " I got some business to take care of , I 'll be back later , " he tells me midmorning , and I wonder if he is going to see my mother . A few times times a week he parks his big white Pontiac right by the fire hydrant in front of our house . " I was just passing by and thought I 'd drop in and say hello , " he says , rattling the keys in his pocket and grinning like a porpoise . " Come in , come in , " my mother brightens , hurrying off her apron . " No , I ca n't stay , " he says , " I 'm parked in front of the hydrant . " <p> Sometimes he takes my mother for rides . My mother loves to go for rides , and we do n't go in the truck on Sundays anymore . " That big white Pontiac rides so smoothly , " my mother coos , " and it has air conditioning . It 's just like standing by the shore , @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ 're out they stop at Sunnyside for a lobster roll . My mother loves lobster rolls . Once I went along , just to see what it was like . It was boring . <p> From behind me , through the partially open door that leads to Sam 's house , I can hear two female voices . I look in now and then , curious to see the two sisters , one of whom is about to marry a sailor . I can tell right away which is the bride . She 's plump and has thick legs and thin , curly permed hair . Her sister looks at her with great cow-eyes . I wonder what it would be like to live in someone else 's house , cooking and cleaning , taking care of someone else 's store . <p> At noon Sam comes in for a few minutes -- " How are things going ? " -- then goes back out . The bride 's sister brings me an egg salad sandwich and a glass of milk . " If it gets right busy , just yell @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ " Her hands are large , and a film of dark hair covers her arms . When she goes back into the house , she doses the door behind her . <p> All afternoon the customers come , in twos and threes . Little boys wanting a loaf of bread or a pound of baloney . Their hands hover over the penny candy , treading the air like hummingbirds . I hold them back with my eyes . The middle-aged women ask : " Are you the new girl ? " and smile and call me dear . <p> Then he comes in . He stares at me from the corners of the store until everyone else is gone . <p> " So , " he says , leaning a tanned arm on the counter . " Sam has a new helper . " <p> I nod . <p> " I 'm glad he decided to get a pretty one for a change , " he says , moving his eyes over me . The r 's on his tongue roll like a purr and the words , the strange way @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ edges . <p> I lean back on my stool and shrug , giving him a closed-lip smile . <p> " What 's your name ? " he asks , leaning farther toward me . His hair and eyes are brown like chestnuts , and I am trying to figure out what he wants . Perhaps he has a gun and wants to steal the money in my register . <p> " Nicole , " I tell him , " What 's yours ? " That way I can tell the police later , if I have to . <p> " Steffan , " he says , smiling broadly , pleased that I asked . " Well little Nicole , do you have a boyfriend ? " <p> I fold my arms in front of my chest and lie : " Yes , lots of them . " <p> " Lots of them , " he repeats , rolling his eyes . " And do you let them kiss you ? " He says kiss as if it had five s 's , curling his lips forward as if he is kissing @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ , " I tell him . <p> He laughs . Throws his head back and laughs from somewhere deep in his chest . His hands , resting on the counter , have long slim fingers . Piano hands , Mother Murphy at school would call them . " Oh you 're a frisky one , " he says , still laughing . " I 'll bet they have a good time with you . " <p> Two old ladies come in then , followed by a girl and her younger brother . Somewhere between wrapping a soup bone for the old ladies and helping the little boy pick out five cents worth of penny candy , I notice that he has gone . <p> In a little while , Sam appears . He unpacks a box of potato chips and rearranges the candy counter . <p> " How did things go ? " <p> " Fine . " I do n't tell him about the man . <p> The next day Sam meets me at the store wearing a dark blue suit . " The reception 's right after mass , @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ ready . " He smells intensely of cologne and fidgets with the cans of salmon and haddock . <p> The door to the house is still closed . I picture a table with a heavy white cloth , a tall wedding cake in the center , plates of dainty sandwiches surrounding it . And I imagine Colleen and Marie in some corner bedroom , Colleen zipping up the back of her sister 's wedding dress . I wonder what it would be like to be a bride , putting on clean underwear , hooking my stockings on to my garters on the morning of my wedding . <p> Around noon the room behind the door floods with thick rustlings and muffled voices . Sam pops into the store , and the door drifts open behind him . I catch a glimpse of Marie . Her face is pink and soft , and her eyes are shining . She looks pretty , I think , with her white dress and lacy hat . A man stands beside her -- it must be the sailor -- touching her elbow , her waist , @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ hair is short and blond -- I ca n't see his face . The back of his neck is red and pockmarked . <p> All afternoon the store is busy , people buying pork roasts and whole chickens for tomorrow 's big Sunday dinner . Sam puts a big white apron on over his suit and helps for a while , then goes back into the house . A lot of cars start up all at once , then the house gets quiet . <p> " Did you see Marie ? " my mother asks , when I get home . " Did she look nice ? " " Yes , " I say . <p> " Sam dropped by for a minute after they 'd all gone . He told me it went well . " <p> I picture Sam and my mother standing in the doorway , discussing Marie 's wedding . When my father comes home , my mother does n't mention that Sam stopped by . <p> On Sunday afternoon , Sam comes over to see my father . I watch them talking by the truck . @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ the ground . Later they go down to the basement . <p> When Sam comes back up , my mother smiles , " It must be strange being all alone in that house , now that Marie and Colleen are gone . " <p> " Oh it 's not so bad , " Sam says . He leans toward her as he talks , the corners of his thick mouth fluttering foolishly . <p> On Monday afternoon the store is quiet . Around four o'clock , he comes in . He studies the labels on the soup cans until the woman with the two children leaves . <p> " And how is my pretty little Nicole today ? " he asks . <p> " I 'm just fine , " I answer . " But I 'm not your little anything . " <p> " Oh but I wish you were , " he says , leaning so far over the counter that I can feel his breath . I am suddenly aware that there is no one home next door . <p> " You 'd be so much more fun @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ He looks at me smiling , inviting me to ask . <p> " Oh ? " I try not to look too interested . <p> " She 's around twenty , fiery like you but not as sweet . " He says sweet the way he said kiss the time before , holding the word in his mouth like a piece of hard candy . " She was nice for a while , but then she bit me . " He points to a bluish mark on his bottom lip . " Can you imagine that ? " <p> For some reason this strikes me as enormously funny . I start to laugh . <p> " You would n't do that though , would you ? " <p> I ca n't stop laughing . I look at the blue mark on his lip and the laughter ripples up and down my spine , my legs . <p> " Would you ? " His left eyebrow arches into a question mark . <p> At six , Sam comes back and closes the store for a while to take me home . " @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ says . " I can save you that long bus ride . " <p> He opens the door of his Pontiac to let me in , then shuts it behind me . Inside it 's all red and smells of leather . Music bubbles softly from the radio and the car feels hushed and cozy , like the inside of a confessional . <p> " So how do you like working in the store ? " Sam asks . <p> " I like it fine . You were right about the little boys , though . " <p> " What do you mean ? " <p> " Their hands . You have to watch their hands . " <p> Sam laughs . His mouth falls open and his whole body jiggles . <p> " Your mother told me you 'd be a good worker and she was right . " He looks at me out of the corner of his eye to see my reaction . I think of my mother , sitting where I am sitting , next to Sam in all this cozy redness . It seems different today @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ My mother really likes your car , " I tell Sam . " She likes it when you take her for rides . " <p> Sam 's mouth twitches in pleasure . His eyes shine behind his glasses . " A woman as beautiful as your mother deserves some fun now and then . She 's a good woman to stand by your father during all his troubles . " I picture my mother standing beside my father . Then I see her where I am now , riding in the big white Pontiac , her voice tinkling like little bells . <p> The next few days are the same . My father and one of the boys bring me over in the truck . Sam pops in and out . At noon he brings me fish and chips from Willman 's . Late in the afternoon , he appears . When people come in he goes to the shelves and examines labels ; after they leave he leans on the counter and tells me things . <p> " Your eyes are the color of chicory flowers , " he purrs @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ your skin , so white , so delicious . " He shows me the pink tip of his tongue . Part of me wishes he would n't come . Part of me waits for him . <p> When Sam comes in , he slips out . <p> " What are you going to do with all your money ? " Annette asks me at supper . <p> " I do n't know yet . " <p> " If you want , I could buy some stuff for you at Zeller 's with my discount . I got a new lipstick today for only 26 cents . Normally , they 're 49 . " <p> Annette 's new lipstick is light pink , and when I try it on it looks nice . Later , when no one is looking , I slip into my mother 's room . I rub off Annette 's lipstick and put on my mother 's . It 's bright red . I study myself in the mirror for a few minutes , combing my hair one way , then another . Then I take two socks @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ my bra . I stare at the woman in the mirror . There 's a creaking noise on the stairs . I pull the socks out and wipe my mouth , feeling suddenly ashamed . <p> Friday is my last day . All day I feel restless and queer . Marie and her husband are back -- Marie comes into the store to get things : a bottle of Javex , a loaf of bread , a can of haddock . I watch her move around , bend and reach for things . A new bride . <p> Around four o'clock , he appears . I pretend not to notice him standing by the pop bottles watching me with his big eyes . <p> " I could take you for a ride tomorrow night , " he whispers . " We could go up to Citadel Hill , watch the sunset . " He opens his hand as if he is offering me something . <p> " I do n't think so , " I say . I have a sudden urge to tell him I 'm only fourteen and three-quarters @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ my mother , as if I were a prize he wanted to win . <p> " That 's so sad , " he says , the s 's curling out of his mouth like steam . <p> Just before closing time , Sam counts out $56 into my hand . " Make sure you keep it somewhere safe , " he says , winking . " I 'll drive you home , though , just in case . " I have never had so much money , all at once . I fold it in two and put it in my purse . <p> Outside , thick fingers of fog are rolling in from the harbor . <p> " It 'll be thick like chowder by nine , " Sam says . " We 'll hear the foghorns for sure tonight . " <p> We turn the corner onto Robie Street , and I see two sailors , each holding a woman by the hand . We stop for a light , and they cross in front of the car . One of the sailors puts his arm around the woman @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ of fog surround them like tongues . I see his dark shape and the red of her dress . <p> Tomorrow , when he comes to the store , he will find me gone . He will wait by the meat case , pretending to study its contents , then buy a quart of milk , wondering if I 'm in the back room somewhere . A few days later , he will remark to Marie or Colleen , " That other one , does n't she work here anymore ? " " No , " they will say . " She was only temporary . " He will not ask where I live , and they will not tell him . <p> The street lights blink on suddenly , and the fog wraps itself around them , until they are muffled and dim , like secrets . Somehow I know I could have asked him for things , and he would have given them to me . <p> Illustration ( Groceries ) <p> 
##1002073 Waltz of the Fat Man Alvaro Rios , Alberto The Kenyon Review ; Summer 1991 ; 13 , 3 ; Research Library ## ALBERTO AL VARO RIOS WALTZ OF THE FAT MAN ices house trim was painted blue , good blue , deep and neat , with particular attention to the front door , that it should stand against spirits . He kept the house in repair , and hired a gardener in the three seasons , spring and summer , a little in autumn . In this place it was a gray wind after that , a time for planting things in the ground to save them , or to hide them . His personal appearance suffered nothing from the attentions to his house , as Noe kept on himself a trim mustache and a clean face , neat clothes for which he thanked Mrs. Martinez , patronizing her for a quarter of a century . From ironing his clothing , she knew the shape of his body more than he did , and for her consequent attention to detail in that regard he was appreciative ? @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ moving a little to the left along his right leg , the minor irregularities and embarrassments . And he was doubly thankful as she never said a word to him about it . His was a body full of slow bones , after all , and Noe moved as if long fish swam in a small place . He did not think himself fat , but he felt himself heavy , in a manner he could not explain to anyone . His body to be sure was overweight , but he did not feel it to be something of the stomach or thighs ; rather , it was a heaviness that came from the inside out , manifesting itself to the world as the body of a fat man . On his best days , Noe could make that weight look like muscles . On his best days he could make his stomach go into his chest and his shoulders , and people would believe anything he had to say . Noe had a business as a butcher , but it was too much for him , a sadness cutting the @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ , purely for social reasons . It was a civic service , and he wanted to do good things . But it was not a good choice , given what he desired , which was simply to be part of the town . To be sure , people patronized his shop , and took him up on his offer of extra services and niceties , but they did not finally stay very long to talk , not in the way they stayed for coffee and to warm themselves at the baker 's . He could see them in there , with their mouths open and their eyes rolling along a line of laughter . He could not say why the townspeople were like this , exactly . Perhaps it was his full size , or something about his looks , or about being the butcher in a ## 8 THE KENYON REVIEW town and being too good at his trade . But , the whole of his life was that no one cared much for him , or even spoke to him very much , and when he attended wakes , @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ he left indentations in the kitchen linoleum , which would not go away . Noe knew that , though he tried not to be , in the people 's minds he was simply an irritation . In whatever part of the town he walked , people spoke behind their hands , and pointed when they did n't think Noe could see them . But his eyes were fat as well , and because of that he could see more . When Noe danced , he wore a blue suit , and was always alone , always at the same place outside of town , by the river reeds . He danced with the wind , which was also cruel like the women of the town , but the wind at least did not have a face . He locked the trunks of his arms with the branch arms of the black walnut trees , which also like the women of the town did not bend around to hold him , did not invite him to another , softer room . But neither could these arms of a tree leave Noe so @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ cruelly to the half-hot tongues of the weeds so that they might talk about him , and make their disapproving sounds . When he danced this dance he let out with a small noise his thin girl , which he kept inside himself . This is what had made him look fat , the holding in , the keeping in of the noise inside himself , his desire to freely speak his needs as a human being in the company of other human beings . This was his thin girl . And Noe would let her out and they would dance the dance of weddings into the night . Noe took to wearing his blue suit to the shop , because he thought he looked better . He did this in case someone would look at him , and think the better of him , think him something of a fine man after all . Then his plan of the blue suit grew into a great deal more , taking as he did the wearing of his suit as some small license . It was the license , he thought , @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ imagined to be the secret work of a regular man in the company of a regular woman . When he shook the hands of women , he did so vigorously , hoping to see movement on their bodies , some small adventure to take his breath , some nodding yes , some quiet dance of the upper body . This first adventure of a man . His was a modest plan , and worked a little . The shaking of the hands was , however , the most Noe did . It gave to him so much , and he thought the ## intimate movements of a woman to be so loud , there in front of everybody , that he could go no further . But it is why Noe attended wakes so faithfully as well , sometimes as if they were the whole of his social life : how in comforting a bereaved wife he could -- properly and in front of everyone so that there was no question of propriety -- kiss her on the cheek . Even then , after the hour of praying for the deceased @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ time his moment was at hand , his attempt at kissing was a dizzied missing of the mark . His lips to the cheek were so clumsy and so fast that the kiss was more of something else , something not quite anything , something in keeping with his life after all . The butcher shop through the slow years began to change , as did Noe himself . He had taken up in his house the collection and caring of clocks , because , he said to himself , they had hands , and in so many clocks was a kind of heaven , a dream of sounds to make the hours pass in a manner that would allow him to open up shop again the next day . His nighttime dream became a daytime dream as well . He did not keep them , could not keep the clocks , finally , only at home . Along with Noe in his blue suit , the shop also began to find itself dressed differently , hung with clocks , first one , a plain dark wood , and then two @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ two hands for him . There was a blue clock . Cuckoos and 28-day , anniversary clocks to the side of the scale , large-faced numbers where once there had been letters in the sections of an illustrated cow . What Noe knew and did not say was that here was the anniversary Mariquita , the schoolhouse Mariette , Marina the singular blue , Caras with her bird tongue . Armida had hands that sometimes rose outstretched to the two and ten like the blessing arms of Christ , and sometimes lowered to the five and seven of desire , one hand shorter , in the act of beckoning him , a come here , Noe . A come here , I 've got something to tell you , Noe , come on , do n't be afraid . This was no butcher shop , the townspeople would say to themselves , not with clocks . One or two clocks maybe , but not so many as this . It would not have been so bad , except that he was the only butcher in town , and people had to @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ opened as to whether or not there was perhaps a law , some ordinance , prohibiting such abuses of the known world , but no one could find any reference that applied to the walls of a butcher shop , other than cleanliness . And of that , there could be no discussion . Noe did not neglect the clocks , and therefore did not neglect the whitesheeted bed of his walls . I0 THE KENYON REVIEW One evening in winter as Noe was closing up his shop , having wound the clocks for the night and having left just enough heat in the stove that they would not suffer , he heard the blue clock falter . So much like a heartbeat had the sounds of the clocks come to be for him , that he was alarmed and stumbled in his quickness to reach the clock , though it could not move and was not falling . It called to him nonetheless as a wife in pain might call to her husband : honey , it said , please . He reached it too late , he thought , @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ at himself . He tried winding the clock again , thinking the unthinkable , that perhaps he had missed its turn in his haste to leave . But that was not it : the spring was taut , and there was no play . He took it down from its nail , and looked at it from different angles in his hands , but he could see nothing extraordinary . There was no obvious damage , no one had dropped it without telling him and rehung it , no insect had been boring into its side . Its blue was still blue , without blemish . He took it to the counter and measured out some butcher 's paper in which to wrap it , deciding that he would take it home to see to its difficulty . He put string around it and made a good blanket of the paper , which should comfort , he always said , what was inside . As he picked it up he could hear the workings move , and he resolved to be wary of its delicacy . He need not have done @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ were his own mother . He put the clock in the crook of his arm , closed and locked his door , took a deep breath in the cold air , hunched his shoulders and began his walk toward home . He had errands , but they could wait . And he was , in any event , the last of the merchants to close for the evening , so he would have been out of luck anyway . Save for the clock , this was how his evenings most often came to an end , the closing of the door and the walk toward home . An occasional voice greeted him , and he returned the hello , but it was the conversation of single words , friendly enough , and that was all . Some theorized later it was the soldiers who were common in those days and who hung around with nothing better to do , that it was they who had been paid , because they never did anything for nothing , but would do anything for something , those soldiers from that kind of army . @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ which any charges could be drawn , in much the same manner that nothing could be legally said about what Noe had done to his butcher 's shop . You get back what you give , someone was later reported as having said , someone but not anyone in particular . That 's how it was told to the captain of the police . ALBERTO ALVARO RIOS I I Noe was walking home with his package , which no one could have known was the blue clock . No one but perhaps the soldiers , and only then if they had been nosy enough to have been watching through his window , which had been recently broken and was full of cardboard patches , easy enough to hide behind . The package 's aspect was of a ham or a roast of some sort , a good rabbit , something simple and natural in the arm of a big man walking home to dinner . Darkness had set and the moon was new . He cast no shadow and made his way quickly as he left the last of the downtown @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ resembling something closer to a woody mulch , and through him passed a moment of gardens from sometime in his life , gardens he had passed through , or that his mother had kept . It was a simple feeling , and brought a prickling to his skin . He next passed by the stand of walnut trees and wild oleander which was white-flowered in the summer . The oleander called to him , Noe . At first it was so quiet he said to himself he did not hear it , Noe . Noe , the oleanders said , louder this time , and he stopped to look . Though it was dark and the moon was hidden , he was not afraid . His size was such that he had never been made to be afraid , not at a moment like this . It was , if one could read his face , a curiosity , this sound which was reminiscent of his name . It was like the mulch and his mother 's garden , and it gave him a prickling of the skin once more . @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ and turned to it , saying who was there , what did they want , that perhaps he could be of some service . No one answered , so he reached his free hand into the leaves and moved them around . He heard the sound and then saw what seemed like , in the dimness , a rabbit , running into the underbrush . Ha , he said , and let it go . He turned again to walk , pulling his coat back up onto his neck . Noe . It was a whisper , this time he was sure . Not a voice , but more of a breath . A half-breath , but unmistakable in its enunciation . As a child , Noe might have crossed himself , and as he was sometimes his own mother , he had the impulse , but he just stood there , once more . He put down the clock in order to enter the oleander more fully , and see what was what , but he found nothing , only branches and the small noises of startled birds and lizards @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ package , though he concentrated with his eyes and with his hands . It was not there . A voice whispered once more , Noe . You know me , it said , you know who I am . Noe no longer moved around . He listened , and he waited . Noe . He did know the whisper . He had in fact heard it many times . He knew the whisper more than the voice of his neighbor , whom he had seen a thousand times . I2 THE KENYON REVIEW He would not have believed any of it had this not been the blue clock . Marina his blue , who had made so many places for herself in his life . Not big places , but so many , her hair color on the trim of his house , the color of her eyes in his suit , and so on . She was the blueness inside him , the color of his appetite , the color both of what filled him and what he needed more of . Marina , he said . Noe . He @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Noe did not answer . You can love me if you love me like a horse , said the whisper . Can you be a horse , Noe ? Can you show me how you are a horse ? Noe stood there , quietly . He stamped his foot , gingerly at first , unsure and sure at the same time . Is that it , Noe , is that all the horse you are ? Noe stamped his foot harder , and made a noise with his nose , and partway through his mouth . Yes , Noe . And are you more of a horse still ? If this were anything but his blue clock , Marina , he would have gone , and given the moment up as the ghosts of this place . Or children , or who knew what . But he could not . And then he heard the laughter of the soldiers as they could no longer contain themselves camouflaged so well otherwise in the oleanders . He heard the laughter , but did not bother with it . He turned and went home @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ home once before , from his family . He had to . One thing and another , right or wrong , these things did n't matter . It was simply too much to stay . He had in some manner become an exponent to a regular number . He was ordinary times ten or times twenty , always too much . And his desire carried an exponent as well . He wanted everything to be nice , to be only the Golden Rule , but times ten , and that is too much . He had no sense of himself , and yet he was everything . In that sea of mathematics he had drowned a sailor 's death . And now he had to go away again . The tide had come up , and caught him once more . He sold what was left of his business at a loss finally to Mr. Molina , who had a scarred face and who wanted to do the work . There was an art in the cutting , and it took Noe , because he was a courteous man , the @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Molina , who had had no idea there was so much . ## And that same night Noe bought a brown horse and rode it as far into the following days and weeks , as far into the future as he could because he could not wait to see what was there . He arrived at the circus , and in it he made his life again . But he almost did not make it . A man and a sparrow ? each puts a shoulder to the wind , each to his own intention : a sparrow to fly , a man to run . Noe on this night was in between , and even with his weight he felt himself lifted , as if he were in league with angels at the edge of heaven , not quite deserving , but sneaking in with some help through a back door , hoping to go unnoticed again , as he had felt when he had come to this town . But it was not heaven , these places . He stopped because the circus people were the first to wave @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ , as if this were the place , and they knew him , and they had been waiting , and what took him so long , had he not heard them calling into the night for him . But they had called him without telegraph or telephone . Something stronger . His mustache curled up from the wind and his body , which had sometimes seemed fat , was hardened , tense in that moment from the cold which had made him hold his breath and flex his muscles for the whole distance of the ride . He arrived as a beast , almost , something crazed and unshaven , out of breath . Or as a beast on top of a man , as if the horse itself was more human , and asking for help . His was a body full of slow bones still , but if it had taken his lifetime up to now to be slow , now the other foot was coming down , and it was fast . It was the other half of himself now , for the rest of his years . @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ in that moment of dust kicked up and of noise , he began his real career , this life with a whole company of half-size men , two-bodied women , and all the rest of the animals who danced . 
##1002156 It was a dark and stormy night . The wind howled about the lofty eaves of the stately mansion belonging to the only descendant of the fabulously wealthy banker-industrialist , the late G. B. Cashcrammer . Could we but peer into the mind of the aforementioned heiress this foul evening , we might see it in a very agitated state . The lady in question nervously paced the parqueted floor of the drawing room , stopping periodically to tilt her ashen face and to cock her delicate shell-pink ear , to listen , as it were , for some wildly anticipated sound amidst and engulfed in and under but separate somehow from the muffled drumming of the rain and the sibilance of the wind in sonorous polysyllabic tribulation . At last it came : the insistent clamor of the downstairs doorbell . She quit the drawing room , quickly gliding through a dark hallway hung with rich tapestries and draperies of deep purple , and breathlessly descending the stairs , she flung open the massive oaken door . It was he , his modest roadster parked in the @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ the red feather that she loved so well . " Hullo ! " he called cheerily . " Darling ! Come in , my poor darling ! " He swept off the hunting hat , exposing a great leonine head which under ordinary circumstances would have been luxuriantly hirsutulous , but the thick wavy mane , unfortunately , now hung limp and wet about his face , spoiling his entrance . She , however , seemed not to notice in the least , but flung her creamy white arms about him and covered his wet face with kisses . The face belonged to her lover , the impossibly gifted but penniless Ernest Penn Wielder . " Judith ! Judith ! Judith ! " he murmured , chucking her small , stubborn ivory chin playfully and tenderly . After a longish interlude of breathless passionate kisses , they ascended the stairs arm in arm , once again traversed the dark hallway hung with tapestries of deep purple , and emerged once more into the cheery coziness of the luxuriously appointed drawing room , where a roaring fire blazed in the great marble @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ , its blue metal barrel glinting in the firelight -- a loaded rifle . They stood before the fireplace in silence , each drinking in the delicious presence of the other . Then her mood turned dark . " Ernest , we must n't . . . we must n't break it off or do anything rash until we 've explored every avenue , " she said ambiguously . " Is there a viable solution ? " he responded ironically . " Judith , I 'm leading a life of quiet desperation without you . " He moaned . " Why , why , must your father have stipulated in his will that you would be cut off without a cent if we married ? " " Married each other , " she corrected . " Darling , I 've told you , he could never bear literary people . " " Oh ! " he shot back angrily . " I feel we are somehow caught in a web of good and evil ! " " Yes , yes , I , too , feel that paradox . But there @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ mere formula . " " We have experienced total alienation , with no shock of recognition , no moment of truth , no catharsis , no redemption , no salvation to bring about final regeneration and peace . " She looked at him helplessly . " So I 'm leaving , " he declared abruptly . " Show me to the door ? " " Oh , I could n't possibly go back through that purple passage again , " she groaned . " No ? Then I 'll go alone . " " Oh , darling , please do n't leave me , " she remonstrated pleadingly . " Is n't there something we can do ? " There was a caesura . He reached into the inner breast pocket of his tweed jacket and pulled out his plot wheel . He studied it , gave it a few twirls , then threw it disgustedly into the fire . " I 'm afraid we are hopelessly trapped in a world we never made . " " Haunted by a house we never built . " " Without a room of @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ " she repeated emphatically . " You have found the right word and not its second cousin . " " Thank you . " His inflexible jawline softened in the firelight . " Do you remember how we met ? " " Darling , how could I ever forget ? That rainy day -- bumping into each other in Brentano 's -- while browsing the same bookshelf -- you with an armload of books . . . . You dropped them ? " " Yes , and ? " " ? and I helped you pick them up . Our eyes met . Do you remember ? " " Yes ? " " ? and afterwards at the little tea room next door -- we dashed over in the rain -- and spent the whole afternoon ? " " ? discussing ? " " Carl Jung ! " she interposed . " And indulging in gay repartee . And I found out that you lived in the middle of a writers ' block in Greenwich Village . And when the rain stopped I invited you up to my townhouse for cocktails @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ and yes you said yes I will Yes . But then you came to your senses like the gentleman you are and vowed you would never use your poetic license to go beyond the boundaries of good taste with me ? " " Those are my lines , " he interjected , suddenly angry . " You are shifting the point of view to yourself . I wo n't let you ! " " I 'll shift the point of view if I bloody well want to . " " No , you wo n't ! " " Oh , really ? " she queried . " Watch me . " There was a pregnant caesura . " Well , show me , do n't tell me . Do something . Give a gesture . " " Why ? " " Because actions reveal character . " " Oh , you and your Aristotle and your Krapp 's English ! " she expostulated bitterly . " Sometimes I think Father was right ! " At the mention of her detested forebear , he lost his head , and anger blinded his @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ her furiously . " Darling , we 're quarreling . Ernest , why must you do this ? " she queried gutterally . " Because , " Ernest countered earnestly , " we must earn our climax . " She broke away . " It 's no good , darling . You should never have thrown away your plot wheel . " He stared at the mantle as if he had not heard her . She drew herself up to her full stature . " It 's all over , " she opined . " Opined ! That does it ! " he ejaculated , and strode to the fireplace . ( They had moved away from their former positions near the fireplace in their frantic struggle . ) He took down old Colonel Bayard Cashcrammer 's bayoneted Rebelbloodstained , dark , war-scarred firearm from its time-honored position . ( It may seem strange to the uninitiated reader that there was a rifle over the fireplace of the elegant drawing room , but that , dear reader , was the Cashcrammer way . ) " What are you going to do @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ I am going to fire it at you , " he reiterated patiently . Her hands flew to the white column of her throat . " But why , why , must you fire it ? " she pursued . " Because , " he rejoined hoarsely , his voice half-choking on the words , " because it 's there . " 
##1002169 From Farewell to Ogres Imbuga , Francis Literary Review ; Summer 1991 ; 34 , 4 ; Research Library ## FRANCIS IMBUGA From Farewell to Ogres Scene One ( Excerpt ) Dawn , at the shrine of the god of rain , now turned into an asylum for the mentally tired , or active ; for a small fee . Downstage centre is a grass-thatched hut . To stage right of the hut , standing on an anthill with her back turned to us , is Kadesa , priestess of the shrine . To a well-synchronized accompaniment of drums and other musical instruments , particularly the flute , Kadesa holds communion with her god in a private language . The prayer is suddenly interrupted by Mude 's entry . The drums and the flute gradually stop . There is brief silence before Kadesa turns to address the intruder . KADESA : I see a thing dressed like a man . I feel the cold blood of an ogre in my presence and I ask myself , what does it want ? What is this thing doing above the @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ god of lunatics , I have not come to play games . If I were you , I would obey the orders from above , abandon this shrine and save the face of my god with a dignified retreat . KADESA : Orders from above ? Did I hear you say orders from above ? Mude , it is a foolish bat that thinks because it sees at night , God was thoughtless to create the light of day . Orders from above indeed . Where is above to you ? Where is above for a burrowing mole ? MUDE : It is three seasons now since the last sky-water touched the soil of our land . Dry thunder tears the sky as our crops and animals shrink from the sun 's rays . But Kadesa stands here , still praying for sky-water . When , Kadesa ? When will your god answer your prayers ? I say your god abandoned you the day you began giving shelter to lunatics at this shrine . KADESA : Christians pray for rain , Moslems pray for rain , even your fellow ogres pray @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ these shall we blame when the rains fail ? Names . What of names ? You call us lunatics , we call you ogres . Who is to blame for these names we hurl like spears at each other ? MUDE : This was a sacred shrine once . A place of prayers and prayers alone . Your old man communed with his god and our prayers were answered . Famine was unheard of in this land . But that was before you came . ## From Farewell to Ogres ? Imbuga ## KADESA : That was before you became ogres . That was before you killed him . MUDE : That was before he died . And if I were you , I would not open old wounds . KADESA : You fear flies , is that not so ? MUDE : Flies ? What flies ? KADESA : When old wounds are opened , will flies not come for the feast ? MUDE : I do n't know what you are talking about . It seems you too are as crazy as your patients . That is why your @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ was meant to be sacred ground , but you have now turned it into a sanctuary for lunatics and other delinquents . Creatures that talk faster than they think . Or do you deceive yourself that we do not know who visits you in the thick of night ? KADESA : Mude , pastor and messenger of ogres , your feet are indeed on sacred ground . Do not invite the wrath of my God in broad daylight . This is a shrine of life , blessed with the air of healing . I can not turn away those whom your masters have made sick . They come during the day and they come at night , but they do not come stealthily . No , they do not come secretly , as is the practice where you have come from . Save your time and mine . Tell me what your masters wish to tempt me with , this time . MUDE : Their patience is running out . My masters will no longer sit and watch as the people 's thirst threatens to snatch the ground from under their @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ such vast natural resources to waste . You must heed their word and prepare to move peacefully to another sight . KADESA : Spittle in the sand . MUDE : What ? KADESA : Your masters ' threat is spittle in the sand . Is it the lack of rain or my patients they are worried about ? Go tell them that my patients and I will not play scapegoats in their game of hate . Go tell them that their troubles are not from the sky above . Go tell them that their troubles are not a thing that the passing wind merely picked along the way . Go tell them that they sowed their tribulations in the soil of their people and manured it with their own actions . Go remind them that a man who refuses to listen in life will not hear dirges of honor on his deathbed . ## MIDE : And who do you suppose is on his deathbed ? KADESA : That is not for me to say , I am a mere mortal . Yet I must tell you that I know the @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ . MUDE : Come Kadesa , everyone knows your roots and leaves lost their potency the day your husband died . Your husband was the medicine itself . KADESA : I can only speak , but I can not force my words into your ears . The ears of the mighty are small . That is why you and your masters have failed to answer my question : who between us defecates before our forefathers ' eyes ? I who shelter the sick and tired from their kith and kin or you who invite ogres from the north to dig up your forefathers ' graves and bare their bones ? What did he hire the strangers for ? MUDE : They are not strangers . They are helpers , friends who have come to construct a new shrine for the god of rain . They are here to lay pipes that will carry the anticipated sky water from the mountain down to the people . That is why you and your rain scouts must prepare to vacate this site before the sunset of the day after tomorrow . ( Musical instruments @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ doubt that your masters have the power to enlist the services of their friends from up north . Only let them remember that no one here nor up north knows the skies as well as my twin scouts whom you have blindfolded and tied their hands behind their backs . Only their father before them could listen to the whispers of the wind and tell what secrets it shared with the clouds above . Only my twin scouts know the pregnancy of each and every cloud in the sky . Free their hands and eyes if it is rain you want . They are innocent . MUDE : Of course they are innocent , Kadesa . Who said your twins are guilty of anything ? The only reason they are being held is for their own protection against the wrath of the people . The people know that your twins are partly responsible for this drought . And their decision not to defend themselves over this matter is not helping them either . KADESA : So my twins are not guilty of anything , yet you want them to defend themselves @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ is no contradiction . A father is not expected to apologize to his children every time he makes a slight mistake . KADESA : Four months away from here , from me and the presence of their God , and you still call it a slight mistake ? Mude , go deceive some other person . What is it you fear about my twins ? Why do you people From Farewell to Ogres ? Imbuga ## keep harassing me over this matter of sky-water knowing well that it is not the real reason for your panic ? Speak Mude , what is it you people fear about my twin scouts ? MUDE : Your twin scouts will be set free as soon as arrangements for their safety are made . We have no reason to hold them any longer if they agree to move to another sight . The people want you to move quickly so that you give the scouts from up north a chance to search the skies for water . In fact , the new scouts are said to have already spotted skywater sitting on the horned mountain @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ do not split my sides with laughter ! Since when has the gift of sky-water been snatched from our creator 's goodwill ? Why this sudden impatience with our own ways ? Why these naked lies about the drought and my twin scouts ? Will you and your masters devour your own brood for temporary pleasure and satisfaction ? Because you have found new lips to pray for you ? MUDE : You can still pray for rain if you so wish . But you will have to do it somewhere else , not here . ( Musical protest . ) KADESA : You and your masters are mad . You have been bewitched . Somebody has conspired with your shadows and turned your heads into watermelons . When we get our water direct from above , we drink it and our tongues know it is water they have tasted . Now you say your masters and their friends have found alternative water from the mountain up north . Whose is it ? Do they know what abomination , what impurities they bring into their people 's water-pots ? Go tell @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Tell them to open their eyes and look in the direction of tomorrow . Tell them to open their eyes and look in the direction of our neighbors , all our neighbors . We are the only ones left , and we shall not make the same mistake . Do they want to return our lives into the hands of ogres so soon ? MUDE : I am only a messenger , Kadesa . I can not now enter my master 's head and answer your questions for him . KADESA : Go tell him to speak to the god of rain , if he has the tongue to do so . I have no more to say . Besides , it is time to save lives and not to think of death . My patients will soon be here . You better make way . ( Sudden barking of dogs . ) MUDE : That will be them . KADESA : Them ? Who ? MUDE : The new rain-scouts . Sometimes they use dogs to smell the rain . They call it technology . ( Kadesa splits the air @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ indeed ! My sons should have been here to hear that . So the water which your masters want to bring to our people has a smell ? MUDE : Well , I said it is technology , and you ca n't always question these things . I say the happy end to the current drought here will justify the means . ( Bizia , one of Kadesa 's patients , rushes in excitedly . ) BIZIA : Big mother , strangers ! And what a big fool Matia is ! ( Mude retreats , finds a place and sits with his back to the audience . ) Who is he ? KADESA : Mude , a messenger from the palace . BIZIA : ( still excited ) Mude ? What a foolish name . Well , what does he want here ? This is no place for strangers . How are we expected to make rain with strangers snooping around ? KADESA : We do n't make rain Bizia , we pray for it . BIZIA : It 's no good praying to our God with such , such . @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ here ! KADESA : Bizia ! Come here . Look me in the right eye . What do you see ? BIzIA : I see me , Big mother . KADESA : Good , now watch your tongue , lest you abuse yourself . And stop trembling like a female mosquito . What kind of strangers are you fleeing from ? BIzIA : A man . A hooded man with a woman who . . . well , with a wife . KADESA : A wife ? BIZIA : I do n't know . Yes , a wife , I think . She is heavy . Very heavy , and he is ashamed of it . . . I think . And they are coming this way , led by Matia . I told you he is a fool . KADESA : And who is looking after the other patients ? BIZIA : Well , I will rush back . But I had to come and report . We must do something , Big mother . We must stop them . It is taboo , is n't it ? I mean @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ , can we ? KADESA : Perhaps they are merely passing by . BIZIA : Merely passing by ? Big mother , I know a dangerously pregnant woman when I see one . I tell you , her time has come . Her time is here . KADESA : Then go and help them to bring her here . BIZIA : What ? Here ? From Farewell to Ogres ? Imbuga ## KADESA : Yes . She is sick . BIZIA : Sick ? Who said she is sick ? She is pregnant ! And this is Holy ground . KADESA : Go and help the others to bring her right here ! BIZIA : Me ? Now this is getting too far . KADESA : ( shouting ) I said go and help the others to bring her over ! ( They stare at each other briefly . Bizia turns and exits . Mude turns and speaks to Kadesa . ) MUDE : The young man was right you know . This is sacred ground . KADESA : Sacred ground , yes . This shrine is for life , not @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ song of life. ) 
##1002171 From Up from the Lake , an Autobiographical Account George , Michael T Literary Review ; Summer 1991 ; 34 , 4 ; Research Library ## MICHAEL T GEORGE From Up from the Lake , An Autobiographical Account BUT AUNTY REFUSED TO BE CONSOLED . She silently wept away her grief . This was the second time in her short married life she had shaken hands with grief . So why must she not weep ? The first time had been two years ago . At that time , she had a very beautiful girl of about three , her firstborn . It was at that time that she had started her career as a teacher for the Catholic mission . Then , they had been living with her parents in the same town ( or , more correctly , village ) . The missionaries used to give them gifts on every public Christian feast day . The gifts took the form of bales of clothes or , sometimes , loads of other very basic amenities . Anytime she got these gifts Aunty would dole them out to @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ morning , two years ago , she had received some Easter gifts of clothes and several cartons of tinned butter oil . As she usually did , she shared them out to all and sundry . One of her uncles came a bit too late . As a result he missed getting any " supply . " He then went up to her and , in the hearing of several others , proclaimed , " So , woman , you counted me out of your precious bounty , eh ? " Aunty could n't believe that she had failed to give this man some of the gifts . But before she could make an answer , or even try to make amends , he went on , " As if I should n't eat butter oil ! Anyway , I want no more of it . But be sure that you shall pay for this insult . My wrath , once awoken , can not be easily cooled ! " As if he were the Almighty himself ! He then strutted to his house . One of the women present , @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ and a great king of darkness ? greatly feared for Aunty , but when she voiced this , Aunty made light of it . Two days elapsed after this episode . Suddenly , on the night of the third , Yema , Aunty 's three-year-old , took to bed with a high fever . All attempts at herbal curation only ended in bringing the child back lower than square one . Upon this Aunty took her to the nearest clinical post , Sumbuya , about ten miles away . Her feet had barely touched the hospital threshold when the child fell into a coma , sweating profusely . The nurse in charge immediately administered an injection , but the drug flowed out as soon as the needle was withdrawn ; nothing would make the drug stay in Yema 's body . The nurse then had to resort to tablets and syrups , all of which the patient threw up instantly . Failing all attempts at even initial medication , the hospital staff found it pointless to admit their new ## patient . Thus Aunty had to go back . It was @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ night . And since she could catch no vehicle , a kindly priest going that way offered her a ride back . About two miles from their destination a loud clanging of bells was heard and a great shadow hovered over the vehicle . With the sound of mighty wings flapping , the shadow disappeared and , simultaneously , the car 's engine went dead , violently throwing the vehicle into sinister darkness . A shudder went down Aunty 's spine as a sound between a gasp and a sigh escaped the child . The priest strangled a curse , murmuring in its stead a prayer , to which Aunty replied " Amen . " Torch in hand , the priest examined the engine and , finding nothing amiss , tried to restart it . But it coughed , sputtered and died out again . No amount of coaxing could bring it to life . Another shiver went through Aunty 's frame and the priest 's face was bathed in cold sweat . He cursed violently and asked Aunty to accompany him in singing a canticle . In their song they @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ muster , while Aunty interspersed them with saints of her own making , such as Mbavai , Kokatoa ( her great forefathers ) and several others , for , she said , it was not only Europe that could brew saints . Once again the priest kicked the starter and this time , it came true . The lights shone brightly . As they resumed their journey strange nocturnal catcalls and whistles rent their vigil . As they neared the village the strange shadow resumed its hovering . Letting the engine run under remote control , the priest wanted to see the creator of the shadow . So he stepped out lightly . But it vanished again . This time the engine gave a low-pitched whine , spurted thrice , but before it could fall silent , the priest struck a benediction . The engine responded loudly and clearly . When she reached home , Aunty sat in grave meditation , interrupted only by a chuckle from the child . A heavy wind blew , and a rustle of twigs was heard overhead , followed by a loud bellow and a @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ and convulsions seized her . At about an hour to dawn a faint hooting of owls was heard . Soon a flock of these heralds of darkness alighted upon Aunty 's roof . Instantaneously her uncle 's threat flashed through her mind and she rushed to his house . With a loud moaning she woke him up , " Oh Uncle . . . " she started sobbing . As if he had been expecting her , he answered drowsily . " It is now already too late to do anything . The child 's fate was decided yesterday . I am sorry to say I can not help in any way now . " His voice had a mocking edge to it . Oh vile witchery ! Envy it is ! What uncle that will not forgive his niece 's misconduct ? Oh woeful day ! " Name your price , uncle . But spare my child , my firstborn child , " she wailed . " Oh Aunty . . . oh-oo-oo-oo ! " The fearful shriek from Gaardie , Aunty 's ward , pierced her heart like a @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Lake ? George ## home and was just in time to perceive the last breath leave Yema ' s nostrils . The child let her head roll , no longer of this world . An intensive calm then befell the entire village . Rain clouds immediately blurred the horizon . But the drops would not fall . They held in their place as if regarding the macabre spectacle vilely sacred . Suddenly , as if upon a cue , the whole village burst forth in lamentation . The funeral dirges of all sorts were uttered in a thunderous heart-melting outcry . Everyone , from the oldest grandsire to the littlest child , wailed . Some cried from a feeling of genuine sympathy , some in mockery , and some from wicked ghoulish satisfaction . Oh Yema , pride of Tisa 's soul and apple of Aunty 's doting eye ... oh thou art turned corpse today . Fare thee well . If ever a mortal played a hand in thy demise leave him to the Great Avenger , the Almighty . Trouble not his sleep nor haunt any of his activities @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ a place for me for , lo , I am in thy wake . Large flocks of various nocturnal birds of prey joined the hooting owls , all making music in their various tongues , bidding adieu to the departed soul . An old woman commented to Aunty that the presence of these winged mourners boded no good . Therefore , she thought it wise for Aunty to leave this town immediately , even if for only a few days . Aunty might have rejected this piece of advice , but she had now had warnings once too often . In fact , some two hours after the burial , Aunty 's young baby boy started shrieking violently and crying much as if he were beholding some strange sight . His temperature rose suddenly . Aunty realized that her enemy , whoever that was , had just begun his vile job of murdering her innocents . She , therefore , prevailed upon Tisa to gather their few belongings , and they fled the town in the priest 's car . The nocturnal birds escorted them to the accompaniment of hoots and @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ four miles distance . That was what drove them from her home , and a home indeed ! Quaint it was , was n't it ? Recollections of this particular episode had always plunged Aunty into a morose mood . Tisa 's arrest had come as the second major unhappy occurrence in her otherwise serene life . Why , therefore , must she not weep ? 
##1002172 The Search for the Gold Finger Okafor , Chinyere Literary Review ; Summer 1991 ; 34 , 4 ; Research Library ## CH1NYERE OKAFOR The Search for Gold Finger OKEKE , OKAFOR , OBAZE , OSAZUwA , all were lined up in the presence of Chief Igbinovia , the security agent . " Doctor Okeke , sit down , " ordered the Chief . " Which of you took Dr. Okeke 's ring ? " he quickly added . None of the suspects moved or said anything . The chief sat down , brought out a file from the drawer , opened it and started writing . Actually , he was not using the file . He was pretending to be busy by sketching one of the faces in front of him . Okafor started squeezing his fingers and balancing his weight on each leg in turn . Osazuwa and Obaze were immobile with their eyes focused straight ahead . Suddenly the chief looked up , and shouted : " You ! You ! ! You look like a thief ! ! ! " " I am not @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ I did not say that you are a thief . I said that you look like one . See , see ! Your eyes are too sharp , like the eyes of a seasoned pickpocket ! ! " " I am not a pickpocket . I no be small boy . I don old , " defended Okafor , a man of about twenty-five years who looked considerably older . To augment his defence , he added , " I get wife . I am married with children so my eye don old , no be small pickin im eye . " The way this illogical argument was delivered in a mixture of pidgin and standard English could have evoked laughter in a less serious situation , especially as the young old-man ended his speech by balancing his body on his two legs for the first time since he entered the room , as if to dare anybody to challenge the logicality of his point that was not clear . The chief resumed his paperwork . After a while , the chief resumed his intimidation tactics . " You ! " @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ other . " You ! You are given an honest job by the government ! ! You betray the trust by stealing ! ! ! If somebody is working in your Mamma 's house and you lose your finger , will you give that person a job again ? " He did not give anybody a chance to comment before he quickly added , " That is how you betray the trust . " As he stood up , he said , " I do not have more time to waste on you . If you have swallowed it , the X-ray will show it ! Full stop ! ! " It was Osazuwa who spoke up this time : " As I never shit today , I think the X-ray fit show everything . Me I never eat since morning . I never steal for my life . My Christmas salary . . . I fit sacrifice am . " " Wetin you go do with your Christmas salary ? " asked the chief scornfully . " My money . Mmh . I be Bini man - o . I @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ finish the sentence but squeezed his face in such a way that the big scars on his face assumed different shapes , his mouth curved downwards towards the chin and his eyes buldged , especially when he prolonged the word " go " for emphasis . " I ## be bini man - o , " he stressed before continuing . " I go use my salary find the head of this finger , a be na ring . I go do am . " " You go consult juju eh ? " asked the chief scornfully . " I go find di person who hold the finger , a bi na ring . Me , I go find am . " From his quiet corner , Dr. Okeke said , " When you find out , all I want is my ring . My college ring . I left the rank and glamour of my position in the army to study and wear that ring . Now somebody is going to sell it for chicken ten naira or so . " " Which of you came out last from that @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ again to extricate himself from guilt . " We were not working in Dr. Okeke 's office , Osazuwa and me . It was only Obaze who was working there . " " So you did not enter the room ? " " We entered , " replied Okafor , " but it was only to assess the faulty air conditioner . " " Dr. Okeke was with us that time . " He added facing Dr. Okeke , whom he asked , " Oga , you entered your office with us and Obaze was there when we left . " " I leave una - o . I go wash my hand - o . I be strong Christian - o , " shouted Obaze . " Shut-up ! All the atrocities in this country are committed by Christians and Muslims . A pagan has never ruled this country , " declared the chief who quickly queried Obaze , " How you go wash your hand when you never finish work ? " " I just dey wash like that . " " Like wetin ? " asked the chief @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ too much , so I just dey wash small small as I dey work . " The chief was begining to get the hang of it all . If the two , Okafor and Osazuwa entered together with the doctor , assessed something and left , then the one who stayed longest had the best opportunity of finding and taking the ring . However , it would not take a thief who knew his onions much time to pinch a golden ring from a reading table . The chief then decided to change tactics . " Dr. Okeke , how much does that ring cost ? " " I bought it for one hundred and twenty dollars in 1971 . It is not just the monetary value of the ring that is important . The emotional value is even more important plus the fact that even if you give me the money , you can never find that ring to buy . So , what I want is my ring and that is that , period ... That ring has become part of me . Anybody who sees me knows that @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ on my body . So , you must find it o - o . " Though delivered harshly , Dr. Okeke 's appeal was very touching . The Chief allowed everybody to take in the implications of that plea before he spoke . " A law book I bought for one pound ten shillings in 1970 now cost one hundred and ten naira , that is about e -eh ... thirty five times what it cost me in 1970 . And now if you calculate the present cost of a ring that used to cost up to one hundred and twenty dollars , we 'll be talking in thousands . I do n't know the present rate of the dollar to naira . " This analysis has revealed two facts to the culprits . One , that the chief also studied law and therefore had friends who were lawyers and magistrates and therefore he could deal with them . Two , The Search for the Gold Finger ? Okafor ## the amount of money involved was tremendous . Okafor was swinging his head from side to side at the realization of @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ knew that he could never even think of the great amount involved in the ring let alone pay for it , if they were levied . Osazuwa 's eyes were focussed on his folded arms as if he was deep in thought . The Chief 's harsh voice alerted everyone and drew the attention of every ear and eye . " What I want to do now is to have the three of you thoroughly beaten up . Then you will tell the truth . After that I 'll send you to Okhoro where you 'll spend the Christmas with the Police and probably spend that your salary . " He pressed the bell promptly and a security man entered . " Take these men to the . . . " He did not finish the sentence before Obaze cut in , trembling at the prospect of receiving the police treatment he had heard about so much and dreaded like poison . " Sir , maybe . . . maybe Oga go let us go for im office again go search for the ring again . I never go cell since @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ and eyes focussed on Dr. Okeke , who appeared to be the only one then to save the suspects from the much dreaded Okhoro Police Cell . He pitied them , especially the innocent ones , but he also wanted his ring and he was sure they ransacked every nook and corner of that Office while searching for the ring . It would be a miracle for that ring to materialise in that office and Dr. Okeke did not believe in miracles . Back in the office , Dr. Okeke just sat in the ante-office usually occupied by his secretary . " Og , come inside now . " " Why am I coming in ? Go and search . When you finish , we go to Okhro police . " Okafor , Obaze and Osazuwa trooped in followed by the security officer . After some time , Dr. Okeke went in to see what was happening . " Have n't you finished yet ? Let 's go to Okhoro , " he ordered them , even though he had no intention of going anywhere else for he was very tired @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ " exclaimed Osazuwa squinting his eyes , bending his waist , and straining his neck like a chicken suffering from jaundice . " Wetin my eye dey see so ? " he asked . Without waiting or expecting a reply , he used his right hand to shade his eye even though it was not sunny in the room . All eyes were then on him observing his monkey antics . " Something de shine for yonder . See wetin e be dey shine so . " It was Obaze , standing near the book shelf , who turned and picked up the ring which was lying beside the ink pot on top of the shelf . " Is this your ring , Sir ? " " Yes ! My ring . It is . Glory be to God , " shouted Dr. Okeke , who did not believe in miracles . Obaze , the Christian , knelt down , raised his hands and shouted , " Osalobua . " Mr. Okafor demanded , " Who was it that was searching that shelf just now ? " 