
##2001858 " POST-ABORTION STRESS SYNDROME " -PASS or PAS sounds scientific , but do n't be fooled-it 's a made - up term . Not recognized as an official syndrome or diagnosis by the American Psychiatric Association , the American Psychological Association , or any other mainstream authority , it is a bogus affliction invented by the religious right . Those who claim its existence define it loosely as a raft of emotional problems that they say women suffer after having an abortion-nightmares , feelings of guilt , even suicidal tendencies-and compare it to post-traumatic stress disorder . Using the allure of outward compassion , dozens of antichoice PAS organizations have sprung up in the last ten years , accompanied by books , pamphlets , billboards , and Web sites . From SafeHaven and Healing Hearts Ministries to Victims of Choice and Rachel 's Vineyard-a project of the anti-choice American Life League that operated its varied programs on a $7 million annual budget in 1999-all of them insist that women who have had abortions suffer severe psychological damage that can be alleviated only with their assistance . Even though @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ n't recommend medical intervention . It 's anti-choice dirty-play at its worst . Because the groups believe that abortion is always a wrong choice , they often engage women in three steps toward recovery : confession of their mistake ; reconciliation , usually through a ritual ( Project Rachel , which is affiliated with the Catholic Church , takes women on retreats that include a " name your baby " ceremony and a " mass for the unborn " ) ; and , finally , restitution of some sort . Of course , " the way to make recompense is usually to speak out against abortion , " says Rev. Cynthia Bumb , an activist who has followed PAS activity closely . The groups tell PAS sufferers to lobby for anti-choice legislation ; Afterabortion.org helps women get started with model bills , like the " Protection from High Risk and Coerced Abortion Act . " Another route to " recovery " is to sue an abortion provider for malpractice . At the Web site of the anti-choice Justice Foundation-actually a malpractice firm , not a foundation-viewers are greeted by a burst @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ you 've been physically or emotionally injured by abortion , do n't suffer in silence . " You can " talk to an aggressive attorney today , " the voice says . " You do n't have to be a victim for the rest of your life . " Their hope is that malpractice claims will eventually put abortion clinics out of business , even if protesters do not . // Claiming that abortion causes women psychological suffering conveniently flips the debate so that the anti-choice movement seems less callous toward women 's concerns and more focused on women 's " health . " This cynical pro-woman/prolife scheme was honed by David C. Reardon , director of the anti-choice Elliot Institute in Springfield , Illinois-the organization behind Afterabortion.org-who realized that the fetus imagery of the " pro-life " movement was failing to sway the masses because too much of the public believes that women will suffer if abortion is criminalized . In fact , an October 2000 Gallup poll found that two-thirds of Americans surveyed said they are against a constitutional amendment that would overturn the right to abortion established in @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ percent of the people polled told Gallup they want abortion to be illegal in all circumstances . But Reardon asserts that many people who support abortion are " uneasy pragmatists " who " have hardened their hearts to the baby because they think at least women are being helped . " In his book , The jericho Plan : Breaking Down The Walls Which Prevent Post-Abortion Healing , Reardon describes his new strategy for making the anti-choice movement appear pro-woman , bringing down the walls of choice by convincing the public " about the dangers of abortion . " And since legal abortion is , in fact , a very safe surgical procedure and is far less dangerous than childbirth , Reardon and his allies seek to foment mental pain . " So as we educate the public about how abortion hurts women , it changes the whole equation , " Reardon told Priests for Life . " The potential of post-abortion healing ... can rapidly change the whole dynamic of the abortion debate in this country . And I am really confident that we will see an end to abortion @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ stealth healers " ( his term ) to offer mercy and forgiveness to women who have had abortions -- he calls them " post-aborted women " -and then use them as " compelling advocates for the unborn . " Says Reardon : " By demanding legal protection for women forced into unwanted abortions and greater rights for women to sue for postabortion trauma , we force our opponents to side with us in defending women 's rights or to be exposed as defending the abortion industry at the expense of women . " He wants the message of the antiabortion movement to be , " abortion hurts women . " And he 's getting his wish . During the Republican National Convention in Philadelphia last year , a string of anti-choice protesters spread out on a street in a " human life chain , " holding the same sign : ABORTION HURTS WOMEN . Of course , the overwhelming scientific evidence shows that abortion does not hurt women-physically or mentally . In the late 1980s , President Reagan tried a strategy similar to Reardon 's and asked his like-minded surgeon general @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ the mental pain caused by abortion . To everyone 's surprise , Koop determined that there was insufficient evidence of trauma . Psychological problems were " minuscule from a public health perspective , " he said . The American Psychological Association followed up by asking a group of six experts to undertake a special review . The panel concluded in 1989 that terminating an unwanted pregnancy posed no hazard to women 's mental health . The predominant sensation women felt following an abortion was relief , the group said . And in August 2000 , a study conducted by Brenda Major at the University of California at Santa Barbara-the latest among many-confirmed those findings . Severe post-abortion psychological distress is extremely rare , affecting just one percent of patients . " Most women were satisfied with their decision , and believed that they had benefited more than they had been harmed , " said Major , who , along with other researchers , tracked women for two years after they had first -- trimester abortions ( 88 percent of abortions are performed in the first trimester , and therefore represent the @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ health , it turns out , is a woman 's mental health prior to the abortion . " Abortion does not cure depression or bipolar disorders ; nor does it cause them , " says Suzanne Poppema , a retired Seattle abortion provider , now an international consultant on reproductive health issues . She and many others have little tolerance for PAS- " because it does n't exist , " she says . The overwhelming emotion she witnessed at her clinic , she says , was relief PAS is merely an attempt to scare women , and she points out that if women do feet negative emotions , they are probably a result of the antiabortion movement itself . After all , the picketers who scream " murderer " at women entering clinics are significant stress-inducers , too . Like Poppema , abortion rights organizations are quick to denounce PAS as the myth that it is . " The shame here is they look for women and seek to exploit them , " says Ron Fitzsimmons , executive director of the National Coalition of Abortion Providers in Alexandria , Virginia , @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ its multicity anti-choice ad campaign in the Spring of 2000 , the National Abortion Federation , the largest professional association of abortion providers , countered with a press conference that cited scientific studies disproving post-abortion stress . " This is an invention of those who oppose choice , " says Vicki Saporta , NAF 's executive director . IN Abortion does not " hurt " women and there is no such thing as " Post Abortion Syndrome , " but it 's also true that women who feel relief after having an abortion may also have normal feelings of sadness , grief , or regret . An unwanted pregnancy alone can create significant anxiety . With the clock ticking , a woman is forced to decide between very limited options , each of them stressful . The alternatives to abortion -- carrying a pregnancy to term and either keeping the child or making an adoption placement-can have a serious impact on a woman 's mental health . Rosemary Candelario , a longtime abortion rights activist and current director of the Massachusetts Religious Coalition for Reproductive Choice , points out that it @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ , especially those with religious backgrounds , may have difficulty making the decision to terminate the pregnancy : " I think the fear in the movement is if we admit abortion is hard for some women , then we 're admitting that it 's wrong , which is totally not the case . I 've heard from women who are having problems dealing with their abortion who are still ardently pro-choice . " Attributing a woman 's emotional problems to the simple fact that she had an abortion can detract from a full understanding of what is going on with her , " says Nancy Russo , a professor of psychology and women 's studies at Arizona State University and the author of multiple studies on the subject . Ava Torre-Bueno , a psychotherapist and the author of Peace After Abortion , says most of the women who come to her seeking counseling say , " I 'm pro-choice . I 'm still pro-choice . So why do I feel so bad ? " Many are recovering from the sheer stress of making the decision to have an abortion . About @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ or what they might see as a life or potential life . Others are grieving another kind of loss : a breakup with a boyfriend or rupture with parents . Women 's real-life responses to abortion are " complex , " notes Gail B. Williams , an associate professor of nursing at the University of Texas , and are " associated with a mixture of feelings . " And the current political climate has only made things worse . In the days of back-alley abortions , " women felt lucky if they did n't die , " says Susan Brownmiller , author of the feminist memoir In Our Time . Now , however , the atmosphere surrounding abortion is saturated with anti-choice rhetoric . " Women who sit in my clinic do n't see it as a right , " says Peg Johnston , director of Southern Tier Women 's Services near Binghamton , New York . " They 're scared . " What they are scared of is stigma , according to a littlenoticed 1999 study by Brenda Major , the lead researcher of the U.C. Santa Barbara study , @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ half the women in their study who had abortions felt a need to keep them secret from friends and/or family for fear of social disapproval . The effort of concealment itself was a major source of distress for women , the study said . " Women are hypersensitive to the sociopolitical climate and how it affects their feelings . This is the only medical procedure you ca n't talk about , " says Dana Dovitch , a psychotherapist in Los Angeles and coauthor with Candace De Puy of The Healing Choice , a therapeutic handbook on abortion . In interviews across the country , women described to Dovitch the difficulty of creating a pretense at work , lying to relatives , avoiding friends . Torre-Bueno agrees . She noticed that emotional issues , especially feelings of guilt , began rising along with anti-choice efforts to restrict abortion . " More and more often , women would say , ' I hope you wo n't judge me , " ' she says . In response to these forces , some prochoice activists are trying new approaches . NAF has a hot line @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ women sort through their issues and give referrals to psychotherapists . Both The Healing Choice and Peace After Abortion provide exercises to help women review why they made the decision to have an abortion and their feelings about it . Many clinics , depending on the community , offer in-house post-abortion counseling . Northland Family Planning Centers in Michigan offer referrals for counseling as standard service . Hope Medical Group for Women in Shreveport , Louisiana , which attracts patients from a wide geographic swath in the region , publishes " After Your Abortion ... A Natural Response " on its Web site . It describes ways to cope with grief , anger , and sadness . Recently in St. Louis , Rev. Cynthia Bumb set up pro-choice counseling as an alternative to the local anti-choice post-abortion projects . " A woman can process her decision from a faith-based perspective without an assumption that she was wrong , " she says . In Binghamton , New York , Johnston offers women a polished stone before the abortion , and describes Native American and Buddhist rituals to help the healing process . @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ for you , but it does n't mean you ca n't honor your loss , " ' she says . The touch is personal , but Johnston also sees this approach as a political act to erase the stigma of abortion and silence the anti-abortion thunder . " A lot of the rhetoric of the anti-choice movement has really burdened women , " says Johnston . " This is about listening to women-that 's what the women 's movement is about . " Author Affiliation Cynthia L. Cooper writes about reproductive health issues . She lives in New York City . // <p> 
##2001859 The latest course on college rosters : Backlash 101 // CAROLYN BYERLY WENT INTO HER TENURE REVIEW fairly optimistic . A communications professor at Ithaca College in central New York , she had been assured by colleagues that she had a strong track record across the three areas that tenure committees examine : teaching , research , and service in professional and community activities . But when the decision came down last year , it was not in Byerly 's favor . While her dean and some members of the tenure review committee claimed that Byerly 's teaching skills were weak , another reason soon came out : several students had complained in their teacher evaluations that Byerly was bringing feminist , gay , and progressive agendas into the classroom . Byerly was stunned-Ithaca had originally offered her a job after asking her to present a teaching demonstration on gay and lesbian issues in the news . In the three years before her tenure application , student evaluations had been overwhelmingly positive . " I had been a feminist leader in politics for many years , and I @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ " she says . " I wanted my students to consider a variety of ways of using their writing and journalism talents . If I bring this agenda into my classrooms responsibly , then academic freedom is supposed to guarantee my right to do it . " As Byerly quickly found out , academic freedom applies only to some people-namely , traditional male scholars and others willing to swim safely within the mainstream . " No one minds the study of gender issues anymore , " she says . " The problem is when you bring an activist angle with you and start challenging ideas , practices , and policies . " Carolyn Byerly has filed an antidiscrimination charge with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission , the first step toward a full-fledged lawsuit . She has also learned that her case is only one of many that point to a persistent backlash against feminist scholars in the academy-and in some cases , against women in general . It 's not that feminists have n't changed the ivory tower in the last 30 years . Women 's studies programs are flourishing at @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ in the field . And Barbara Gold , a classics professor who is also an associate dean of faculty at Hamilton College in New York State , points to the profound impact she believes feminism has had on teaching methods , changing the classroom model from " stand up and read your notes " to increasingly collaborative and interactive approaches . The reality is that things are going to continue to change in academia , but it 's going to be a rocky ride . According to Department of Education projections , thousands of academics , mostly men and mostly white , will leave the profession over the next decade alone . Partly because these jobs are so prestigious and so fiercely fought over , the backlash against women in academia seems more intense than ever . And despite decades of anti-discrimination legislation , many institutions are still disguising sexist decisions behind the highly subjective veil of maintaining academic standards . University administrators , for instance , often complain that they simply can not find enough women and minority faculty who " qualify " for academic jobs . " They want @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ feel uncomfortable -- that 's what they mean by qualified , " says Linda Mabry , an African American law professor who resigned from Stanford University in 1998 in disgust over its discriminatory practices . " If you take a feminist perspective or interject race , they 'll just say your work is substandard . Since they have so much power to define these standards , it 's really easy to walk away thinking that you are not up to the task . " Feminist scholars are commonly told that they publish in the wrong journals , their work is too unconventional , or the subject of their research cuts across too many disciplines and can not be properly assessed . Annis Pratt of the Academic Discrimination Advisory Board at the National Women 's Studies Association points out that many women academics are also kept in a perpetual revolving door that whirls them away from the tenure stream . Schools overload them with committee assignments , knowing that women are less likely to say no . Or they hire women who do n't look like they will succeed . And they @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ staff hostility grinds them down . " Women think academia is a place populated by intellectuals who behave rationally , " Pratt reflects . " But this is not a merit parkway-it 's more like a big male gang grope . " Women who fight back face expensive lawsuits and derailed careers . Others choose to endure the subtler oppression of complicity and silence . In either case , the longstanding principles that are supposed to guide higher education , including academic freedom , are under attack . " The day has n't come where one is safe being an outspoken feminist on campus , " says Patty McCabe , director of the American Association of University Women 's Legal Advocacy Fund . Photograph // Gloria DeSole , who ran the affirmative action office at the State University of New York at Albany for nearly 25 years , says , " Many of us thought we would meet with resistance until we were understood . We did n't expect that once we were understood , we would meet with even more resistance because we would be challenging male definitions of academic @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ example , complaints about gender and race discrimination have become so bad that the Department of Labor is currently investigating grievances reportedly filed by up to 30 faculty members ( including Linda Mabry ) . The school 's $500 million federal funding is at risk , but Stanford has refused to admit that any problems exist . One woman , Colleen Crangle , has already won a court case against the university : last year , a jury awarded her $540,000 in damages . ( Stanford appealed , but recently agreed to a settlement . ) Crangle , a senior research scientist in the School of Medicine and the only woman in her department , says that when she protested the sexism directed at her , she was moved out of her office to a desk in a hallway , with no computer or phone . Then she was told by an associate dean that she had to play " girl Friday " to a male colleague in a parallel position . One day , she came to work and found a letter saying she had been fired because of a @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ from a federal grant that she herself had helped the university secure . Publicly , schools like to talk about how open they are to women and minorities , even though most are no longer required to practice any type of affirmative action . The numbers , however , tell a vastly different story . The most recent Department of Education statistics , from 1995 , reveal that the percent of women who currently have tenure is almost as low as it was in 1977 . Even as women with Ph.D . ' s reach parity with men , full professors across all schools and disciplines are overwhelmingly male ( 79 percent ) and white ( just under 90 percent ) . ( The number of full-time faculty of color increased by 47.7 percent from 1985 to 1995 , but they still make up a very small percentage of all academics . ) And since 1975 , the disparities between male academics ' salaries and women 's have actually increased . Some feminist scholars argue that the skewed numbers result partly from the economics of academia . Public funding for education @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ in the humanities , where women are disproportionately represented . This has led schools to make choices -- with many assuming that as long as feminists have a women 's studies department , that 's enough . Annette Kolodny , a professor of comparative cultural studies at the University of Arizona , contends that downsizing has meant that feminist scholars now fall low on the list of desirable hires-at least for tenure-track positions . In general , the number of women academics has risen substantially in only one area : part-time jobs that offer no benefits or promise of longevity ( see " Road Scholar : Women in Academia , " Ms. February/March 2000 ) . Many untenured women note that they are afraid to speak out because they fear they may be targeted and never find another position . Several of the feminist scholars interviewed for this article who left their jobs and sued their universities over discrimination observed that they had later been replaced by " quieter " women academics . Making things even more difficult for progressives , many universities are accepting money from conservative organizations , which @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ populated by conservative academics . And large private corporations have figured out that universities provide relatively cheap sources of research and development . Most of their money goes into fields with perpetually small numbers of women , such as the sciences . The women interviewed for this article could not recall a single instance of corporate support for feminist scholarship . The academy 's highly subjective performance standards have made it more difficult for women to protest unfair hiring practices than in other jobs . " It is like a medieval guild , with the idea that you ca n't impose external agendas on the sacred right of the scholarly community to pass judgment on who is admitted , " says Margit Stange , a feminist English scholar who last year won a four-year court battle against the University of California at Davis . And , as in the Byerly case , there is the growing practice of using anonymous student evaluations as part of the tenure review process . Administrators like to say that this encourages better teaching , but numerous studies show that students treat female professors less seriously @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ : the National Women 's Studies Association reports that there have been many cases of students being asked by department chairs to write negative evaluations , or instances where positive evaluations were removed from a tenure candidate 's file . Some male academics do n't even bother to hide what they 're up to . At Eastern Kentucky University , Helen Eigenberg , a highly regarded criminal justice scholar , had been hired to bring a feminist presence to the school . But once she got there and began vying to become chair of her department , her male colleagues closed ranks behind a less qualified male candidate . Eigenberg filed a gender discrimination suit . In a deposition , one man unabashedly recalled slamming his fist on his desk and saying to a male colleague , " We got ta do her now . " Eigenberg and the school eventually settled in arbitration . For now , male academics can still look out for themselves at every turnthe associate dean at Stanford who Colleen Crangle says told her to play girl Friday to her male colleague went on to chair @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ mean there have n't been , and wo n't be , improvements at individual institutions . For example , MIT , which last year released a groundbreaking acknowledgement of the discrimination faced by women faculty in its Science School , has gone on to make systemic changes to improve the number of female faculty and the resources available to them . And hardly anyone is discounting the enormous impact of women becoming presidents of three Ivy League universities this year : the University of Pennsylvania , Brown , and Princeton , whose new president , Shirley M. Tilghman , a molecular biologist , has called on the federal government to deny funding to scientific meetings that do not include women on its panels . In other words , despite the backlash , women are making their presence felt . Gloria DeSole points to an experience at SUNY-Albany in the mid 1990s . As a senior adviser for affirmative action , DeSole went to see the white male chair of one of the science departments about an appointment that might not be in line with the school 's affirmative action goals . @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ to bring the issue up with the dean , a woman . If that did n't work , they could go up a level to the provost , another woman . Beyond that , there was always the college president , an African American man . DeSole watched as it dawned on the chair that there would be no one from the old boys ' network on his side . He chose not to go forward with the appointment . " There is enormous resistance to sharing power in the academy , and a deep antipathy to new ideas , " DeSole says . " But 20 years ago , everyone standing behind that chair would have been a white man . The world is shifting-too fast for some , not fast enough for others-but shifting nonetheless . " Footnote Action Alert If you are a female academic facing discrimination , you can get financial help or legal assistance through the Legal Advocacy Fund of the American Association of University Women : www. aauw.org or laf@aauw.org , or call ( 800 ) 326-AAUW , ext. 145 . Author Affiliation Gretchen Sidhu @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ // <p> 
##2001860 Loung Ung 's Journey Photograph Preceding page : Ung poses with models of the land mines she 's trying to render obsolete . Left : Ung takes a call in her D.C. office at the Vietnam Veterans of America Foundation . // On the April 1998 day that Pol Pot-leader of one of the world 's most brutal genocide campaigns-died in Cambodia , the world cheered . One less madman to worry about . But Loung Ung , who survived his horrors and is now a leading activist for the elimination of the land mines that Pol Pot and others planted , shut the door to her Washington , D.C. , office , slumped down onto the floor and howled into a pillow . " I went from crying uncontrollably to wanting to beat someone up , " she says . " For two million people , for my family , for me , life has never been the same . He got to die of old age . But the bodies of his victims are missing , bludgeoned , rotted away somewhere . " A pale-skinned Cambodian @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ in the U.S. since 1980 , when she escaped from Cambodia on a fishing boat headed for Thailand with her eldest brother , Meng . They spent six months in a Thai refugee camp and were eventually sponsored by a church that brought them to Vermont , where Ung remained through college . Her memoir First They Killed My Father ( HarperCollins ) was published last year and details her experience during Cambodia 's genocide , during which she lost both her parents and a sister to execution , another sister to starvation and dysentery , and was herself trained as a child soldier in a camp for orphans . The book offers a compelling account of a young girl who survived the brutality of Pol Pot , and turned her trauma into activism . Photograph Preceding page : Ung poses with models of the land mines she 's trying to render obsolete . Left : Ung takes a call in her D.C. office at the Vietnam Veterans of America Foundation . // For the past four years , Ung has devoted her life and work to spreading the message about @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ should pay attention to a world littered with them . An estimated 4 to 6 million land mines remain buried in Cambodia alone . Each time someone steps on one , Ung says , not only is a life lost or a body maimed , but Cambodian genocide survivors are reminded of the horrors that were carried out by Pol Pots Khmer Rouge . As a national spokesperson for the Vietnam Veterans ofAmerica Foundation ( VVAF ) , Ung travels widely to give presentations that draw from her own experience , as well as attest to the indiscriminate nature of land mines as a weapon system . " Loung 's contribution to our anti-land-mine campaign has been profound , " says Bobby Muller , a paraplegic veteran who founded VVAF and was injured during the war . " She has helped bring the destructive power of land mines into American homes and American lives , and that has boosted our funding for de-mining programs in Cambodia and elsewhere . Loung offers a personal vision to an otherwise amorphous , big-issue campaign , " adds Muller , who , through VVAF , @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ ) , which shared the Nobel Peace Prize in 1997 with ICBL Coordinator Jody Williams . From the outside , Ung appears to have weathered her awful first decade in this world quite well : she is confident , successful , and charming . But unlike most Americans , she has not a single family photo in her small , two-room apartment in D.C. The few items adorning her walls-several scarves and wall hangings-come from Cambodia , as if in the absence of family mementos , she has substituted things that could have once belonged to her relatives . " People expect me to be fully healed , " she says from her office at VVAR On a shelf behind her are mock land mines , with names like bouncing berries , which she uses when giving her speeches across the country . " But it 's never going to go away . Every time I watch a talk show , they talk about their problems for a minute and then they bring in a therapist , everyone applauds , and it 's over . But after the applause , you @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ fear that make me hyperventilate . " Ung lives in a sort of bicultural chasm , bracketed by her native Cambodia on one side , and the U.S. , her home of 21 years , on the other . In some ways her book , which she thought might bridge this gulf , has served only to widen it further , since threatening e-mails denouncing her experience and her Chinese heritage have cropped up . The charge is familiar-with a Chinese mother , Ung and her family were never considered pure Khmer , an ethnic label that was idealized in Cambodia under Pol Pot and still is today in some circles . Though Ung mostly ignores the attacks and says she does not want to speculate on who they came from , she realizes this does n't erase them . " Cambodia is my first everything , " she says , leaning on her desk in a black , high-necked Asian dress . " I feel like America is my place to stay , but Cambodia is my soul , my home , and now to have some people tell me @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ 's like , What do you need to be in order to belong ? ' There 's a part of me that feels really homeless . " It is difficult sometimes to reconcile Loung Ung , typical U.S. urbanite , and Loung Ung , genocide survivor . She has a long-standing group of friends who , like her , are snappy and career-minded . She roller blades , listens to rock CDs , and reads literary fiction . She dresses up for Halloween and celebrates Thanksgiving with her brother 's family . Though she can speak about ordinary matters like politics and history , Ung finds the use of small arms , methods of torture , and the pathology of violent acts more " comfortable " topics of conversation . She also ca n't help but eat each meal as if it were her last ; she always has a pot of rice cooking in her kitchen . She ca n't bring herself to watch war movies , but she loves campy horror flicks . She stopped believing in god when her father was killed , and has recurring dreams that @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ effortlessly pass for a carefree thirtysomething that it can be easy to forget all that she has lived through , until she tells you what a body that 's been floating in water too long smells like . Or the rare moment when she allows herself to speculate on how her parents might have been killed . " People say that my father probably went through a confession center . At that time , Cambodians killed people with a hammer to the head because ammunition was too expensive . What you do n't hear , your mind makes up , " she says , then blinks as if to reroute her mental trajectory . Between 1975 and 1979 , Pol Pot 's Khmer Rouge took power from U.S.-backed Lon Nol ( at the end of the war in Vietnam ) and systematically killed as many as 2 million Cambodians-one in five-through starvation , torture , execution , and forced labor . Ung and her family initially survived by moving from village to village , scavenging for insects and dead animals to supplement their meager diet . They worked 12- and 16-hour @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ profound that she picked single grains of uncooked rice from the ground . Two years into the war , soldiers took her father . Her sister Keav starved to death , and in the hopes that the rest of the children would survive , Ung 's mother Ay Choung sent them to separate orphanage camps . Shortly before the end of the genocide , Ay Choung and Ung 's youngest sister , Geak , were killed . Photograph Snapshots From Cambodia Family photos taken before and after the genocide mark Ung 's journey from a middleclass life in Cambodia to a sometimes tortured and sometimes comfortable exile . Photograph LIFE AS A CHILD SOLDIER A Book Excerpt by Lou ng Ung " IT 'S TOO BAD YOU 'RE NOT A BOY , " MET Bong says . " The camp you are going to is for the stronger children . There you will be trained as a soldier . " Her face beams with pride . " I am happy to go , " I lie . Chou stands beside me with her head down . " Chou , you 're @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ I whisper as we hug . Chou cries harder , her tears wetting my hair . Met Bong breaks our bond and tells me it 's time to go . Though my heart aches , I do not look back . The new camp is almost identical to the old one . There are about eighty girls , ranging from ten to fifteen years old . I have yet to turn eight . We are supervised by another Met Bong , who is just as zealous a believer in the Angkar the Khmer government as my previous supervisor . On my first night , boys and girls gather around a roaring bonfire to listen to the latest propaganda . Having heard it many times , I know when to break into the obligatory claps and screams . " The Youns a racial slur for Vietnamese people have many more soldiers , but they are stupid and are cowards ! One Khmer soldier can kill ten Youns ! " " Angkar ! Angkar ! Angkar ! " we scream . When the speeches are over , five girls sing and dance for @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ the girls smile . Their hands move gracefully in unison , their bodies sway and twirl to the music . Afterwards , they hold hands and giggle . Laughter has become a distant memory . Chou and I used to laugh and giggle , taking Keav 's clothes out of her drawers and playing dress-up . At fourteen , Keav was beautiful and stylish . She inevitably came home and caught us . Screaming and yelling , Keav swatted our bottoms as we ran out of the room . At the camp , all of us are invited to dance . My feet move to the beat of the drums , my arms sway to the rhythm , and my heart is light and joyful . After the dancing is over , the new Met Bong comes over and says , " You are a good dancer . " " Thank you , " I reply softly . " I like to dance . " " I want you to join the dance troupe , " she says . " We 're putting together shows for the soldiers . " " @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ leaves , I cover my hand over my mouth , stifling a scream . Me ! A dancer ! New clothes ! Fake flowers in my hair ! For the first time since the takeover , I feel young and light . The reality , though , is more painful . Every morning , Met Bong forces our hands to bend backward , creating a beautiful curve . The New Year passes without any celebration or joy . The January breeze turns into April heat and I am one year older . I am alone here , even though I sleep in the same hut with eighty girls . I have never seen Pol Pot . I know little about him or why he killed Pa . I do not know why he hates me so much . In the night when my defenses are down as I stand guard over the camp , my mind flashes from one member of my family to the next . " No , " I tell myself , " I have to be strong . " But I miss Pa so much it hurts @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ since I held his hand , saw his face , felt his love . " Oh Pa , " I whisper to the air . As if answering me , something rustles loudly in the tall grass . I hold my breath and look around the compound . My heart races . They are coming at us ! My finger squeezes the trigger and the shots go everywhere ! The rifle jerks back , hitting me hard against my ribs . " I 'll kill them ! I 'll kill them ! " I scream . " There 's nothing out there ! " Met Bong screams at me . " I said shoot when you see something real , not ghosts , " she says as laughter erupts from the girls . " Do n't forget about the bodiless witches , " a voice calls out . Many claim she 's only a myth -- the bodiless witch . At night when these witches go to sleep their heads separate from their bodies . Dragging their intestines along , they fly around to places where there 's blood and death @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ chest , my finger resting on the trigger , alternately aiming at the sight of the Youns and up in the sky for the witches . Excerpted from First They Killed My Father : A Daughter of Cambodia Remembers by Loung Ung , with permission of HarperCollins Publishers , Inc . <p> 
##2001861 The anti free-trade demonstrations showed that energy , humor , and plenty of women leaders can change the world // FOR THE NEXT ANTI-GLOBALization demonstration , I 'm bringing a gas mask . I like to be where the action is , and these days you need protection , even in Canada . One of the effects of globalization is that countries become more and more alike . The violent confrontations in April between the police and protesters in Quebec City during the Free Trade Area of the Americas ( FTAA ) summit were unsettlingly like the Battle of Seattle . But unlike Seattle , the script for this confrontation was written in advance , with the construction of a hideous tenfoot-high concrete and chain link fence built around one of the most beautiful cities in North America . At least six thousand police officers were more than ready to rumble in the largest show of force that Canada has witnessed in a generation . Within 48 hours , police shot nearly 5,000 canisters of tear gas and more than 800 rubber and plastic bullets . Approximately four @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ bail . For the protesters , the vast majority of whom remained peaceful in the face of extraordinary police provocation , it was a life-changing experience . We thought we lived in a democracy , however imperfect . But what we experienced that weekend was a police state . If you watched it on television , you probably saw people throwing rocks and assumed there was a riot going on . But as usual , the demonstrators ' story was far more peaceful and hopeful than the one the media depicted . The march began at Laval University , about six miles from the hated fence . It was lively and creative , and included a replica of a medieval catapult , pulled by 12 " slaves . " It periodically hurled teddy bears into the crowd and later , at the police . One woman dressed as the Statue of Liberty walked all the way on stilts . Another group of women , The Dandelions , wore T-shirts with painted slogans like " Persistent Radical Blossom That Will Always Bloom . " The march was colorful and noisy . The @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ of the crowd were remarkable to this experienced activist . There was no riot by the demonstrators in Quebec City that day , just a boisterous demonstration made up of people who insisted on their right to be on the streets . Quebec City is built on two levels . Throughout the Upper City , the stink and sting of tear gas was everywhere . I suppose that the police thought they could clear the crowd with the gas . They were wrong . Despite the pain , protesters refused to move . People ran to side streets to clear their eyes and then returned to the scene of the major confrontation . As the police 's use of gas , water cannons , and concussion bombs increased , more and more protesters resorted to rock throwing . But even at the height of the retaliation , there were no more than a hundred people battling the police directly . Mostly , the tear gas united everyone . Photograph Demonstrators march silently , wearing TOMORROW IT 'S DEATH signs to protest their lack of voice in trade talks . Photograph Demonstrators @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ protest their lack of voice in trade talks . // What struck Maude Barlow , chair of the Council of Canadians , a citizen 's group that has been battling free-trade agreements since the first one negotiated between Canada and the U.S. in the 1980s , was " the absolute courage . People took tear gas and stayed . We faced police brutality and stood our ground . " Barlow responded to media criticism of the demonstrators ' violence-which was blown out of proportion-in a speech on Saturday : " These are young people born into a toxic economy , a society that deliberately sorts winners from losers and measures its success by the bottom line of its corporations , not by the well-being of its young . These youth are the result of years of poisonous economic and trade policies that have created an entrenched underclass , with no access to the halls of power except by putting their bodies on the line . Their anger is our collective societal responsibility , The question is n't what I am going to do with angry young people . The question should @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Bush and all the other leaders here to promote the extension of this toxic economy : what are you going to do with them ? " In Canada , as in the U.S. , youth are angry and mobilizing . Ever since Seattle , I 've noticed an extraordinary increase in youth activism . As someone who was part of the last great youth radicalization in the 1960s , I can see all the signs . But this is not the 1960s . For one thing , you can see the influence of feminism on this new radicalization . Easily , half the leaders and participants are female , and it 's not just among the youth . Francoise David , president of the Quebec Women 's Federation , which led the organizing for the World March of Women last year , says that feminists are solidly involved in the leadership of this new movement . For David , the Tribunal on Women and Globalization was the most memorable event in the weeklong protest against the Summit of the Americas . The tribunal was part of the People 's Summit , @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Americas . Women from the North and the South gave testimony about the impact of corporate globalization on their lives . " Whether it was our presence on the stage , in the workshops , or in the streets , women were highly visible and active , " David told me . " The final declaration of the People 's Summit also reflected a feminist analysis . " But it 's not just the presence of feminists that struck me as unique ; it was how brave , militant , and polite the young people were . On Friday afternoon , after two hours of tear gas assaults , I saw two young men running away from the gas , screaming in pain . They had on goggles to protect their eyes . " Get the goggles off , " I yelled at them so that their eyes could be cleared by the fresh air . " I know , " one yelled back . Then he took off the goggles and looked at me and said , " But thank you for your concern . " Can these young people @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ commercialism , and economics to the detriment of the needs of the earth and the people who live on it ? The last youth rebellion helped spawn the women 's movement , the lesbian and gay rights movements , and the environmental movement , and ended a war . This one , it seems to me , is more radical , more feminist ( that would n't be hard ) , more sophisticated , more diverse , and much , much nicer . What 's more , it is not as isolated from mainstream society . In Quebec , union members mobilized in even greater numbers than the youth . On Saturday a march of around fifty thousand people , led by the unions but including a wide array of organizations , wound its way through the streets of the Lower City . But lots of the union members wanted to be up at the perimeter with the youth . " Next time , youth and labor will be together in the direct action , " promised Judy Darcy , national president of the largest union in Canada . And a @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ march showed that 21 percent of Canadians said they would have gone to Quebec City to be part of the protest against the FTAA if they could . In Canada , massive opposition to free-trade agreements began with the struggle against the one signed in 1989 with the U.S. In Mexico , most people have seen their incomes fall since NAFTA was enacted in 1994 . There are similar statistics for Canada , and even the U.S. Only a small elite are benefiting from the social-service cutbacks , deregulation , privatization , and tax cuts that are features of this toxic economy . But what is most dangerous about NAFTA is its infamous Chapter 11 that allows corporations to sue governments over regulations or policies that interfere with their profits . Take for example , Metalclad , a U.S. waste management company that sued Mexico when a local government refused permission for a hazardous waste treatment and disposal site inside a nature preserve , of all places . The final FTAA and renegotiated World Trade Organization agreements on trade in services will almost certainly contain provisions similar to Chapter 11 . @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ there have been some victories . Popular opposition scuttled the Multilateral Agreement on Investment created in 1998 by corporate representatives of 29 countries . And the WTO is so worried about popular activism , its next meeting will be held in Qatar , an autocratic nation where the king does n't typically allow protests . While we continue to protest the secrecy of trade negotiations , it 's clear that much more is at stake . What we are seeing is a vast and diverse movement to take back democratic control from corporations . This anti-globalization movement is about democracy and the right of people to participate in the decisions that are made on their behalf That 's why the wall in Quebec City became the target of protest , and why those who participate in the demonstrations , whether in Quebec , Seattle , Prague , Buenos Aires , or Washington , will continue to organize at home . The desire for democracy has always been a dream that inspires people to put their bodies , and even their lives , on the line . A new generation around the @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ hands , and I do n't think anything will stop them . Author Affiliation Judy Rebick is the editor of rabble.ca , a new interactive online magazine . She is also the former president of the National Action Committee on the Status of Women , Canada 's largest feminist organization . // <p> 
##2001862 Women find new shelter from the sex industry // THREE YOUNG WOMEN SIT AT a table sipping coffee in a bright , airy room with windows that expose a glorious spring day in the Macedonian capital of Skopje . Andreea , * 16 , has the high cheekbones , liquid brown eyes , and short bangs reminiscent of her fellow Romanian , Olympic gymnast Nadia Comaneci . But for Andreea and the two other young women-Mariana , * 18 , from Romania , and Irina , * 17 , from the former Soviet republic of Moldova-the cachet of looking like a celebrity is the last thing on their minds . This spring , the three escaped from the Hotel Slavija in southwestern Macedonia 's resort-filled town of Lake Ohrid , where they had been held as sex workers for the vast seven months by an Albanian -- Macedonian mobster they knew only as Leku . He is one of the region 's most notorious traffickers of women , a business that Macedonian authorities say is closely linked to narcotics and arms-smuggling rackets . " We waited for the @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ " And then we crawled out a window and ran away . " Irina smokes silently as she observes the conversation . When they got to Skopje , a three-hour drive from Lake Ohrid , they went to the Romanian embassy for help . They ended up at a freshly painted , 20-bed transit center , newly opened by the Macedonian government and the International Organization for Migration ( IOM ) , a Swiss-based group founded after World War II to provide humanitarian assistance to migrants and refugees . Converted from an old school atop Skopje 's towering Aja Pasha hill , the center is the country 's first to provide shelter to undocumented migrants , an important milestone in an increasingly international effort to stem the trafficking of Eastern European women through the Balkans . Although the center is small , the local and international aid workers who lobbied vigorously for it say that because it enables women to testify against traffickers , it could have a profound impact . " If the women want to testify , they can stay at the center for as long as the courts @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ of asylum and immigration at the Macedonian Ministry of Internal Affairs , under which the center was opened . " Until now , Macedonian police would simply apprehend trafficked women and send them home . " The center provides access to medical care , food , clothing , and legal advice . Like guns , narcotics , and cigarettes , the trafficking of women is a growing business in Macedonia , which sits among the impoverished factory towns of countries in Eastern Europe , just beyond the lure of Western European prosperity . Last year , government authorities detained more than a thousand undocumented migrants a month , the majority of them Eastern European women forced to sell sex in the dozens of bars , motels , and nightclubs that have sprouted up along the highways and in the villages of Macedonia . " Criminal networks are increasingly Photograph The back of a calendar given to soldiers issues a warning about sex trafficking . // using Macedonia as a final destination for trafficked sex workers , " says Martin Wyss , director of the Macedonian office of the IOM . In @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ SLAVERY and 24-HOUR INFO HELPLINE coat the walls . " The same guys running the bars using trafficked women are the same ones running drugs and guns , " Wyss adds . " I 've told Macedonian officials that drugs and guns do n't talk . But women can . " Though the new center helps women testify , traffickers are still going free . It 's a situation that Wyss and Stojkovski are trying to change . The dramatic rise in the number of trafficked women throughout Macedonia coincides with the arrival of some forty-five thousand so-called peacekeeping troops to the region , in the wake of the NATO bombing of Yugoslavia two years ago . Kosovo sits about twelve miles north of the Macedonian capital , where many of the NATO-led troops and other international staff come to relax on the weekends . " Interest in the prostitution business went up after the soldiers came to Kosovo , " says Stojkovski . " On the weekends , they flood the brothels in Macedonia . " LSO FUELING THE PROBLEM is the fact that organized crime has become a major @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Added to this are hundreds of ethnic Albanian rebels from the Kosovo Liberation Army ( KLA ) who fought to liberate the province from Serbian control two years ago . Some of them have now moved into northern Macedonia and are clashing with security forces . The fear is of civil war between Slavs and the ethnic Albanian minority . " You have a group of people who grew accustomed to surviving amongst this chaos by running guns , " says a Western diplomat who asked not to be named . " That environment is starting to change . There is more democratization in the region . But the rebels do n't know how to operate under the rule of law . So they do what they know : smuggle guns , drugs , or women , and fight . " Photograph AT THE TRANSIT CENTER , a young woman from Moldova waits to return home . She was forced to work in the sex industry and then imprisoned for using her skills as a midwife to help another sex worker have an abortion . Photograph AT THE TRANSIT CENTER , @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ She was forced to work in the sex industry and then imprisoned for using her skills as a midwife to help another sex worker have an abortion . // Wyss says that 1,000 women have escaped from the Macedonian sex industry in the past eight months alone . Like Mariana , Andreea , and Irina , more than 70 percent of these women are between the ages of 15 and 24 , and nearly three percent are under 15 years old . MARIANA AND ANDREEA 'S experience is typical . They were recruited by Valia , a Romanian acquaintance whose last name they did n't know . She offered them jobs as waitresses in a hotel in Italy . After they accepted , they were put in a taxi that took them to Romanias border with Serbia , then told to cross over illegally at night . There , they were picked up and taken to the Belgrade apartment of a Serbian wornan they knew only as Puja . They were given counterfeit Moldovan passports and put on a bus from Belgrade to Skopje , several hours south . " When @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ the night , " says Andreea . " We had no idea what to do . We did n't have any money , and our documents were fake . Someone drove up and asked , Are you from Moldova ? ' We said yes . They said , ' O.K. , let 's go . " ' The teens were driven three hours away to the Hotel Slavija . There they met Leku and his Macedonian partner , Latze . " He beat me to persuade me to have sex with a customer , " says Mariana . When asked who came to the Slavija , Andreea rolls her eyes . " Everyone . Macedonians , Albanians , French , Italian , and German and American KFOR , " ( the acronym for the NATO-led soldiers in Kosovo ) . In response to the boost to the sex industry from NATO soldiers , the IOM now targets them through campaigns , distributing thousands of mini 2001 calendars with a warning message and a hot-line number . Wyss recounts that one German soldier who had been frequenting a brothel in Tetovo gave @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ She called the hot line , the nightclub was raided , and she was released . But Stojkovski says that actually bringing traffickers to justice has been an uphill battle . Bar owners , he says , sometimes bribe police officers , who release them and deport the women who spoke against them . Underpaid border guards and customs officials are also paid to look the other way . Leku is a classic example . The Ministry of Internal Affairs has tried to raid his bars , but the police rarely cooperate . Many Macedonians , including the police , are frightened of men like Leku , who remain tightly connected to arms traffickers and the KLA , as well as a new Macedonian Albanian rebel movement , which regularly clashes with government security forces . Stojkovski says with tensions high , " It 's very dangerous for the police . Some guys are smugglers and some are Albanian fighters . Who knows what a brothel raid will lead to ? " Meanwhile , the women who escape remain ambivalent allies for Stojkovski . As I finished my interview with the @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ just wants to go home . The others echoed her sentiments . Would they testify against Leku ? Maybe . But when I call to follow-up , two of the teens had returned home without testifying , and the third is preparing to go . There has been no trial for Leku , and the transit center has eight new women . Author Affiliation Laura Rozen is a freelance journalist . // <p> 
##2001863 Feminism 's ambassador to Hollywood talks about acting and activism // WHEN I ARRIVE AT KATHY NAJIMY 'S HOUSE tucked in the hills of Studio City , she greets me at the door as her four-year-old daughter , Samia , bounces by with a newly purchased copy of Free to Be ... You and Me . The house is busy , peppered with musical instruments belonging to her husband , naked statuettes-and photos of Gloria Steinem in nearly every room . She deadpans that Steinem is called the Lord in her house . Is this a comedians jest , or is she serious ? Who cares ? This is L.A. , and I 'm thrilled to find another feminist here . Not just a feminist , but a committed activist in the unlikely la-la land of Hollywood celebrity . Although an actor by trade , Najimy asserts that , " Hands down , there has never been a creative experience that has ever been as fulfilling as a political experience . " She 's well known for co -- writing and performing in the tremendously successful off-Broadway feminist @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ . Najimy also played Olive , the feisty sidekick on the NBC series Veronica 's Closet , and is the voice of the strong Texas housewife and substitute teacher Peggy on the animated FOX series King of the Hill . Most recently , Najimy garnered critical acclaim for her role as the sharp-witted , independent Mae West in her Broadway debut , The Dirty Blonde . Midway through the interview , Najimy really kicks back ; she 's enthusiastically sitting up on her knees , talking away . She is both captivating and motivating as she speaks , even to an audience of one . Her unrelenting optimism and knack for rallying a room have made her an effective speaker on behalf of Voters for Choice , GLAAD , PETA , the Human Rights Campaign Fund , NARAL , and the Arab Anti -- Defamation League ( she is Lebanese ) , but Najimy is not content with just preaching to the converted . She almost always manages to sneak something political into any TV or magazine interview , even if it 's just a standard promotional appearance . " If @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ , and go on a talk show , I 'm not gon na say , Oh , go see me in this silly movie . ' I figure , I 'm on TV in front of a billion people , talk about something . So I always bring up something political . Always . " -INTERVIEW BY JEANANN PAN NASCH NAJIMY : I was at a big huge Hollywood wedding and there was a director , pretty much the leading director on television , and I said , " Oh I saw so and so the other day , and she looks great . " He said , " Oh did she lose some weight ? " And I said , " No , she did n't lose any weight , she 's beautiful , she 's normal . " And we had this half-hour discussion/argument on how she could n't be taken seriously as a leading lady if she was 15 pounds over what he thought she should be . To him , beautiful means thin and that 's why she was effective ; people wanted to laugh at her @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ " I do n't really agree with that philosophy , but even if that were true for television , she 's beautiful and she 's not 107 pounds . As long as you know you are the reason that 11 -- year-old girls have eating disorders , as long as you are aware of that while you 're casting those people , then I am going to let you leave this conversation . Your decision affects every single woman who has a television . So as long as you know you are responsible for killing women , then walk away . " He lives in a fake world . He does n't see that his decisions have repercussions . He thought I was just being overdramatic . This is someone I work with . I UNDERSTAND WHY WOMEN ON Photograph Najimy in PETA 's " I 'd rather go naked than wear fur " ad campaign // television are wasting away : because they have very little power . You do n't have control over the scripts , the casting , the advertising . You 're a huge TV star and @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ because you are a woman . The only power you have is to lose weight , and as you lose weight , you get more attention and more positive feedback and that is fake power that fills you up instead of real strength . I do n't think it 's their fault . But it 's horrifying ; it 's like watching a holocaust . I wish that there was a spiritual , moral awakening . Or the nuts and bolts-the producers , directors , and networks -- have to make a shift in their thinking about what is a leading lady , an attractive woman , a successful woman . Without making a big deal of it , we need to show ordinary women . It 's taken me a lot of years , I 've been through so much insecurity and doubt and confusion and bad choices . And still to this day , I live in a world where to be overweight is the worst thing you can be , literally , for a woman . The last acceptable prejudice . I mean , you can make fat @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ American jokes . So it 's really the last acceptable thing to hate . But I also am really blessed that I do n't feel that my weight is my value , my importance . I 've been an example of a different kind of beauty , and I never really knew that until I started getting letters and being depicted in magazines as beautiful , voluptuous , all the different words they use . And of course , that should be an option . I 'm not saying , let yourself go and do n't be healthy . You do what works in your life for how you look , as long as it does n't rule your world . My feminism came from a low tolerance for unfairness . I saw when I was eight that girls had to act differently from boys . Girls were talked to differently , and our options were different ; how we got to dress , what was important was very different , and I knew that that was unfair and I did n't know that that was feminist . When The Kathy @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ New York Times review was a great review . It called us post-feminist and I thought , oh really , is it over ? Is everything fine ? ' Cause I need to see how it 's fine ; is everything in order ? Because it 's certainly not . I 've been an activist long enough that I 've been through the dips and I never get to the point where I just throw up my hands and go , " Oh , fuck this , I 'm not going to do it anymore . " Like right now , with AIDS activism , I think we are going through a real apathetic period because we had some new medicines come out , some different cocktails that worked , so people thought , oh , it 's over , we can stop working . Meanwhile , people are getting AIDS every day , people are dying of AIDS every day . So what it does for me is it puts a fire under me to not stop doing what I do . I feel like " O.K. , do n't @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ breath , and it 's not right to take a breath now , we have to pay attention . " Photograph Right : Najimy in another PETA ad Below : As Mae West in the Broadway production , The Dirty Blonde Bottom : With Mo Gaffney in The Kathy and Mo Show Photograph Right : Najimy in another PETA ad Below : As Mae West in the Broadway production , The Dirty Blonde Bottom : With Mo Gaffney in The Kathy and Mo Show Photograph Right : Najimy in another PETA ad Below : As Mae West in the Broadway production , The Dirty Blonde Bottom : With Mo Gaffney in The Kathy and Mo Show Photograph Right : Najimy in another PETA ad Below : As Mae West in the Broadway production , The Dirty Blonde Bottom : With Mo Gaffney in The Kathy and Mo Show // I 've never just given up , because then you will meet someone who 'll say , " Oh my god , you changed my life , " or you 'll have an Eve Ensler the creator of The Vagina Monologues come @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ . So , I think it 's just a series of highs and lows . It 's like a relationship , where you stay in it as long as the good out -- weighs the bad . And for me , being a political person , the good has far out -- weighed the bad . I get frustrated and I get angry , I get desperate , I get tired . But overall , it 's so fulfilling to me that I will never stop . It 's the most fulfilling thing that I do . People ask , " You 're an actor and people see you in funny roles and are n't you afraid that your political activism , if someone does n't agree with it , they 're not going to like you ? " and I think , I do n't give a fuck . No movie has ever been as fulfilling for me or as important or as compelling as the blessing that I get when I do something about something I care about . There are huge , huge groups of people who do @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ especially do n't want one that talks about it on every talk show and magazine article she does , and I respect their right not to watch me or read me or cast me or to work with me . And I respect my right to continue to do what I want to do . Every second I am with my kid , I am doing something revolutionary . That 's the biggest political statement in my life right now . You have to judge every choice , every second of your child 's life , from who they are talking to , who they 're around , what school they go to , what they watch , what they read , what they hear you say , what they hear others say , what they wear , what they eat , everything . Every second , you are making a choice based on what you think is going to give that soul the most chance at a really great mind and a great life . I was saying to my daughter that I do n't like Barbies because they do @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ and they 're too thin . And my mom was saying , " Well you know Kathy , there are thin women . " And I said , " Mom , every second of the rest of the 90 years of her life , the world is going to bombard her with how perfect being thin is . My objection to it , my little drop in the thousands of drops she is going to be flooded with , is nothing . " I have to be heavy-handed because I am not the world ; I am just my one little voice to her . So I am going to be biased . I am . ' Cause the world is not going to be fair . If the world were objective and fair , I would n't have to work so hard . But I have to be really , really aware and sometimes intense to just have a chance in hell of something seeping in . Author Affiliation Jeanann Pannasch is a freelance writer based in Santa Monica , California . // <p> 
##2001864 // Activism , To Go Thank you , thank you , thank you for all this great information about who to call and where to find people in your activist issue ( April/ May 2001 ) ! Keep up the great work . I 'd love to see information on The Nature Conservancy ( 4245 N. Fairfax Drive , Suite 100 , Arlington , Virginia 22203-1606 ; www.nature.org ) , which provides really great opportunities for preserving biodiversity , and The Hunger Project ( www.thp.org ) , which empowers people in communities to get what they need rather than what other people think they need . Again , thanks for the great work . KATHY OAKS PALO ALTO , CALIF . I do n't know where I 've been . It was only when I was looking for a copy of " something new for my clients to read " that I discovered Ms. , by far the most interesting magazine I have ever read . As a 36-year-old hairdresser , I am so tired of looking at fashion magazines filled with emaciated women ! Your magazine had @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ worth reading about . I 'm impressed ! I will definitely keep a copy of Ms. in my salon and tell everyone to read it ! Thanks for telling herstories ! CINDI BROGAN PORTLAND , MAINE LaDuke I was late , driving to Geneseo , New York , to hear Winona LaDuke speak . I arrived 20 minutes before the end , with my four-year-old daughter in tow . This was a " mother strategy , " so that I could remind my daughter that she had seen Winona LaDuke , the election 2000 Green party vice presidential candidate . Afterward , as we drove back home to Buffalo , I knew the effort to attend was worth it . A week later , I stood in the checkout line at the Lexington Co-op grinning at Winona LaDuke 's photo on the cover of Ms. ( April/ May 2001 ) . I was grinning because I was so glad that I had voted for her in the November election , grinning because I felt empowered by the representation she has given me . Here she was , someone I would vote @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ , I have felt a " better than nothing " sense of representation , a pale emotion compared to the feeling that caused my grinning . I want my daughter 's daughter 's daughter 's daughter 's daughter 's daughter 's daughter 's future to be considered , and to make a difference now . CASSIE WILSON BUFFALO , N.Y . The article on Winona LaDuke includes the completely false statement that I sent a message through a courier asking Winona LaDuke to pull out of the race for vice president . Then the article progresses into utter nonsense by adding that I suggested that she ask Al Gore to consider appointing Indians to federal judgeships in exchange for her leaving the race . I did not send any such message , personally or through a courier , nor did I have any contact with Winona , directly or indirectly , throughout her campaign for vice president . I did send Winona a letter relative to her candidacy two months after the election . Further , I firmly believe Al Gore would have considered the appointment of Native American federal judges @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ . In the 2000 election , Winona did what she thought was right , and I did what I thought was right . WILMA MANKILLER STILWELL , OKLA . Editors ' Note : Our fact checker spoke to Winona LaDuke and Paul Demain , her campaign manager , and to Wilma Mankiller about that " message . " It was made clear to us that the two Parties strongly disagreed about what happened , and that the issue raised was a matter of concern to LaDuke , which is why we included it in the article , while also reporting that Mankiller denied making such a statement . Over the past year , I had become increasingly frustrated with Ms. 's unflinching support of the conservative Al Gore/Joe Lieberman campaign . I was frustrated by the lack of coverage of the Ralph Nader/ Winona LaDuke campaign as well as the important progressive issues it worked to bring to the forefront . What I expected from Ms. was full and fair coverage of both parties , and an acknowledgement that reasonable feminists might differ in their choice of candidates . Needless to @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ for , and ofter ten years , decided to cancel my subscription in favor of a more inclusive liberal magazine . Then the April/May 2001 " Activist Issue " arrived in my mailbox , with Jennifer Baumgardner 's wonderful article about Winona LaDuke ( " Kitchen Table Candidate " ) . I devoured the entire magazine and have never enjoyed a single issue of Ms. so much ! Thank you for including this amazing article about LaDuke , a strong , inspiring woman . I would love to continue to be as inspired by this magazine as I have been for my entire reading life . ( My mother was a subscriber when I was a child ! ) I intend to renew my subscription , and I hope the editorial staff will reassess its policy of diversity to include your readers ' diverging political views . EMILY BRISCOE WORTHINGTON , OHIO Race and Reproduction Thank you so much for the all-too -- short interview with Dorothy Roberts in the She Says section of the April/ May 2001 issue . I read her book Killing the Black Body a few years @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ She does not shy away from powerful statements , and she also provides an important perspective on feminism . I heartily recommend her illuminating book . Thank you for highlighting Roberts and her work . Thank you also for the cover photo and story on Winona LaDuke . As an unrepentant voter for Nader/LaDuke , I appreciate the well-written letters you published in the February/March 2001 issue in response to your prior election coverage , and I think your choice to cover her in the following issue helped to balance the information . Doing the hard work to strengthen the Greens has more promise than going with a party that 's been selling us out to corporate America while too many of us have been sleeping . MOLLY MORGAN SAN DIEGO , CALIF . Visas and Violence I take issue with Lakshmi Chaudhry 's article , " Married to the Visa " ( April/May 2001 ) -or at least some of the claims she makes in it . The subtitle reads IMMIGRANT WOMEN IN ABUSIVE MARRIAGES FIND THEMSELVES TRAPPED IN SILICON VALLEY , and the article includes references to " marriages @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ violence expert will tell you , there is almost no such thing as a marriage or a relationship that simply " turns " violent or abusive . The signs that a man is physitally or psychologically abusive usually show up very early in the relationship-sometimes on the very first encounter . Chaudhry 's wording suggests that men ( especially immigrants ) are inherently violent , volatile individuals who will start to abuse women out of the blue-or as she suggests , once a certain timeline or national border has been passed . Please , let 's not scare women-and stereotype men-like this . The feminist objective should be to teach women the warning signs of abuse and encourage them to distance themselves from possibly abusive partners as soon as they can . Photograph Writer Dorothy Roberts does n't mince words . // Of course , in many countries/cultures , women have no choice as to whom they marry , in which case the problem does not begin with better immigration laws ( although I do agree that these laws should be expanded to include wives such as Ankita ) , or @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ challenging the patriarchal regimes of countries/cultures that do not consider a woman 's consent to , or evaluation of , a suitor before marriage and condone violence against a woman after marriage . I am highly skeptical of Chaudhry 's insinuation that the women she writes of would not have experienced the same ( or even worse ) situation of abuse and imprisonment had their families not moved to the United States . In any case , I urge Ms. not to pass on misleading messages , like suggesting that abusive relationships come about through some sudden , uncharacteristic about -- face by the male partner . This is simply untrue , for both immigrant and non -- immigrant men . NICOLE SEYMOUR LOS ANGELES , CALIF . Editors ' Note : Ms. has written numerous articles on domestic violence and how to prevent it . The purpose of this news report was to make readers aware of the extremely vulnerable situation these women face as a result of their visas . It is also important to recognize that the stress and isolation of emigrating can sometimes lead to domestic violence @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Championing Animals Although I was glad to see the domestic violence tragedy ( " Give Me Shelter , " April/May 2001 ) written about by Sarah Goodyear , I am greatly disturbed that she could write , " men did not have the right to beat women as if they were unruly pets . " This implies that men do have the right to beat unruly pets . The fact that this phrase survived any editing at all is unconscionable . Very strong evidence exists that those who abuse nonhuman animals later abuse-and many times kill-humans . When abuse of nonhumans is taken seriously and acted upon in our families , our communities , and our court system , then we will have made major strides in ending domestic violence not only against women , but other humans as well . No being anywhere , unruly or not , deserves to be beaten . DIANE C. BECKWITH JAMUL , CALIF . I really enjoyed your series of articles " Saluting Champions " in the April/ May 2001 issue , which featured women activists in a number of worthwhile struggles . If @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ however , I would suggest the inclusion of another very important and rapidly growing area of activism : animal rights . Animals represent the largest and by far the most exploited group of victims on our planet . And their exploitation is taken completely for granted by the public , resulting in what we refer to as " institutionalized animal abuse " such as factory farming , horrific animal experimentation , and the animal abuse that passes for entertainment , such as circuses and rodeos . As human animals , we at least have laws to protect us ; we have rights ( in theory anyway ) , we have some exercise of free will , and most important , we have a voice . The next time you honor women who are dedicated to making the world a better place , please include someone who uses her voice to speak on behalf of animals . There is no shortage of dedicated , caring women who have made animal advocacy their life 's work and have made tremendous strides in alleviating the suffering and misery of the most innocent among us @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ in your publication : Susan Roghair is president and publisher of the newsletter Animal Rights Online ( **33;1228;TOOLONG ) . It 's largely because of her dedication that the animal activist community can respond quickly to animals in need and speak for them through e-mails , letters , and phone calls . Susan 's newsletters are our call to action . To subscribe , write to EnglandGal@aol.com . Faith Maloney is director of Best Friends Animal Sanctuary in Kanab , Utah . Best Friends never has fewer than eighteen hundred animals in its care , and it is also the largest sanctuary for abused and unwanted animals in the nation-probably in the world . You can check out their Web site at www.bestfriends.org . Many other women are truly inspirational and deserving of special mention in your magazine . Maybe you could do a whole issue on the heroes of animal rights . Maybe I 'm too ambitious , but think about it ! PATRICIA VINET IRVINE , CALIF . Flo Kennedy Florynce Kennedy was directly responsible for one of my early feminist " click " experiences ( " Florynce of @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ I was a college student in Boston in the early 1970s , curious about the women 's movement but terrified of using the " F " word to describe my personal politics . I heard that Florynce Kennedy would be speaking at the nearby Unitarian Church after a Sunday service and crept into the back of the church to hear her and hopefully meet her . Her humor , brilliance , warmth , and humanism had a huge impact on my life that Sunday morning , and from that day forward I proudly and enthusiastically called myself a feminist . Thank you , Flo , for your encouragement and support of my activism that day . I , and many other women , will miss your shining presence in our world . Thank you . NAN GILBERT NARBERTH , PA . Motherhood I recently finished reading The Price of Motherhood by Ann Crittenden , and I was struck by the artificial divide I 've detected in Ms. between motherhood and feminism . Specifically , in the interview with Winona LaDuke , the interviewer asks LaDuke how she would respond to the @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Do so-called feminists see these as separate issues , or , as I more concretely suspect , that motherhood is a special interest group within feminism and not a more global concern for all women ? That 's nuts . How did many of us define ourselves as feminists if not from watching our mothers and the challenges they faced , and either accepting or rejecting the choices they made given the societal and economic restraints ? Photograph CONTRIBUTORS Frances Kissling " I have always admired the artist Jenny Holzer , who says , ' Abuse of power comes as no surprise . ' But the unending arrogance of my Church when it comes to women still surprises me , " says Frances Kissling , who wrote about priests ' sexual abuse and rape of nuns ( Opinion , page 28 ) . President of Catholics for a Free Choice , Kissling is also a writer , a policy analyst , and a widely respected environmental activist . Angela Ards " ' Where Is the Love ? ' ( page 54 ) was the hardest article I 've ever written , @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ culture for the Village Voice and The Nation . " It 's a difficult topic to approach without getting lost in cynicism or naivete . In activist circles , I hear a lot about rebuilding civil society-schools , neighborhoods , churches . I want to put black families on that agenda . " Ards lives in Brooklyn , New York . Carmin Karasic Carmin Karasic , a digital artist and activist , was thrilled to illustrate " Where Is the Love ? " because she felt that " rather than repackaging the ' victimization rant. ' the article encourages us to update our personal programming . " Karasic creates online performance art and art installations , and was featured in our December 2000/January 2001 article about hacktivism . She 's based in Massachusetts and the Netherlands . Judy Rebick Author of " Letter from Quebec City , " ( page 22 ) Judy Rebick is a well-known activist , writer , and TV and radio commentator in Canada , whose latest project is a lively interactive online magazine called rabble.ca . She is the author of several books , most recently @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ a column for Elm Street magazine and CBC Online , which outlines a radical vision for an egalitarian society . // After reading Crittenden 's book , I was astounded by the economic disparity between mothers in many European countries and the U.S. Our country economically punishes mothers who stay at home , yet tells them to stay at home while refusing to subsidize this " choice . " Add to that the voices of feminists claiming that our issues are n't important . Why portant issues are n't we pushing for paid maternity are n't we pushing for paid maternity and paternity leave and legal protection for caregivers who need flexible work schedules instead of remaining silent on welfare reform , which punishes people engaged in unpaid labor yet fails to subsidize quality child care for women entering jobs that pay less than a living wage ? I 'm afraid that feminism has become too accepting of the male-dominated view of the nuclear family and the economics that underpin it as " a necessity . " I am a mother and a public highschool teacher , and I have experienced @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ have been traditionally female-dominated , are underpaid and devalued . Feminists devalue both by continuing to count motherhood as an issue apart from feminism ; motherhood is a female-only profession . It should be subsidized , as it is in Sweden . As Crittenden proves in her book , women without children have more rights politically because they have more economic rights . Feminism is strangling itself by ignoring mothers ' struggles , specifically the struggles of low-income mothers . We would do well to study the policies of other countries around issues of motherhood . I hope Crittenden 's book sparks a firestorm of activism for the economic and political rights of mothers . KRISTINE L. SIELOFF CHICAGO , ILL . Editors ' Note : We do n't view motherhood issues as separate and distinct from feminism . But issues of motherhood are not always feminist , and motherhood is but one of the issues that make up the feminist agenda . Yes , Ms. consistently makes the connections about the need to make all work count , traditional women 's work most especially . And feminists were in the @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ NOW which organized protests in front of the White House in 1996 . It has been feminists who have been leading the charge for mothers ' rights . Bushing The article that Emily Hofstetter wrote on George Bush ( Word : " Bush , " April/ May 2001 ) is disgraceful and embarrassing . It is a shame that Ms. has taken to publishing absolute crap-sorry , but that 's what it was-in your magazine . I will probably never pick it up again . Surely you must be able to find something just a little more sane than that ! JOAN TARZY SEA GIRT , N.J. Whatever happened to the " liberal " press ? I did n't even know there were thousands of protectors at The Shrub 's inauguration until I read the article The Media Crowns George II " in the April/May 2001 issue of Ms. I guess with Disney owning ABC , and other big-business conglomerates owning NBC , CBS , CNN , et al. , objective coverage has disappeared ! When I attended college , Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein were doing absolutely stunning journalism , @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ " ignorant " public sure could use some of that investigative reporting today to check into the buying of the presidency . How quickly we forget Watergate ! SUE SEFSCIK LAS CRUCES , N.M . Ms.-Take In Barbara Ehrenreich 's review of Zillah Eisenstein 's book Manmade Breast Cancers ( June/July 2001 ) , we stated that Eisenstein 's mother died of breast cancer . " All of you who 've spoken to my mother recently know she 's alive and well , " reports Zillah . Our apologies . JOIN US ONLINE AT www.msmagazine.com for up-to-the-minute news , online feminist activism , and discussions with Ms. editors and other readers . Sidebar >> LETTERS TO THE EDITOR ? Address all correspondence to Letters to the Editor , Ms. , 20 Exchange Place , 22nd Floor , New York , N.Y . 10005 ( e-mail can be sent to **33;1263;TOOLONG ) . Include your name , address , and daytime telephone number on all correspondence , including e-mail . Letters should be as brief as possible . They will become the property of the magazine , and editors reserve the right @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ ? Nonfiction manuscripts , queries , Sidebar and requests for writers ' guidelines should be sent to Manuscripts Editor , at the above address . Please include a self-addressed , stamped envelope . Queries and manuscripts should include clips and a resume . We try to respond within 12 weeks of delivery . We can not discuss queries on the telephone and can not be held responsible for manuscripts sent to us . Due to the volume of material received , we can not accept , acknowledge , or return unsolicited poetry or fiction . >> MS . ON TAPE ? Associated Services for the Blind Sidebar offers Ms. subscriptions on four-track audiocassette tapes for $36 per year . This tape requires special playback equipment . 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##2001865 Chicana artists update Our Lady // ALMA LOPEZ HAD BEEN MUSING over Sandra Cisneros 's essay , " Guadalupe the Sex Goddess , " and talking about it with other Chicana artists when she first conceived of a digital collage that would experiment with the Mexican incarnation of the Virgin Mary . In the essay ( which appeared in the July/August 1996 issue of Ms. ) , Cisneros decried the shame that she had been raised to associate with the female body . The essay resonated for Lopez , a Mexican-born artist who , like Cisneros , grew up Catholic and surrounded by images of the Virgin of Guadalupe , often hyped as the ideal role model for young Chicanas . But Lopez 's earthly role models-her mother , grandmother , and friends -- were n't passive and pure like La Virgen . Humble ? Yes . But they were also courageous women who withstood poverty , discrimination , even physical and sexual abuse , as they struggled to make their way in the world and enrich the lives of their children . Lopez wrestled with those ideas @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ a very personal vision of the Virgin of Guadalupe . Lopez 's Our Lady features her friend Raquel Salinas as a symbolic Guadalupe , nude except for strategically placed roses . Gone are the downcast eyes and prayerful pose . Instead , with hands on hips , head cocked slightly , she eyeballs the viewer . Like it or not , this is who I am , she seems to say . Below her , instead of the usual boy angel , is the image of another of Lopez 's friends , Raquel Gutierrez , as a bare-breasted angel with butterfly wings . Not surprisingly , the publicand the politicians-started to howl when Our Lady was shown this year . Part of an exhibit entitled " Cyber Arte : Tradition Meets Technology " at the Museum of International Folk Art in Sante Fe , New Mexico , the work prompted protests and even threats against Lopez and her supporters . For all the hullabaloo , Lopez is hardly the first artist to subvert the image of Guadalupe . In the last quarter century , dozens of other Latina artists , performers @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Lopez , have done the same thing . And like them , Lopez has come under fire from conservative Catholics , especially Latinos , for re-envisioning the primary female icon of their religion and culture . Hernandez 's 1975 etching of Guadalupe as a karate-kicking avenger of the oppressed Chicano was the first subversive revision of the Mexican Virgin by the daughters of her culture , for whom reclaiming Guadalupe offers multilayered insight into their religion , their society , and their own identity . From Goldie Garcia 's Guadalupe , adorned with bottle caps , marbles , and fabric , to Marion Martinez 's renditions , fashioned from computer circuit boards , there 's a whole new version of the Virgin out there . // Above : The Virgin of Guadalupe Defending Chicano Rights by Ester Hernandez Opposite page : Our Lady by Alma Lopez // Guadalupe is also a part of the art and spirituality of Santa Barraza , a Texas-based artist who is the subject of a recent book , Santa Barraza , Artist of the Borderlands ( Texas A &M; University Press ) . Barraza , like @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ the Aztec earth mother , Tonantzin , and other female icons of Aztec cosmology . Raised a Roman Catholic , Barraza says she became disillusioned with the Church 's oppression of indigenous people , including her ancestors . She has created her own spiritual practice by combining Catholicism with what she calls " pagan Catholicism , " curanderismo ( folk healing ) , and devotion to indigenous icons . In Barraza 's painting entitled La Lupe Tejana , the Virgin 's cloak does not bear the traditional stars , but rather pre-Columbian symbols . Also on display are the distinctive outline of the state of Texas and references to farm workers . // Left : Guadalupe Triptych by Yolanda M. Lopez // Above : Our Lady of Guadalupe Shrine by Goldie Garcia // Many Chicana artists reach back to the Aztec culture in what is essentially a search for their own history . According to legend , when Mary appeared to the Aztec peasant Juan Diego in 1531-just ten years after the Spanish conquest of Mexico -- she asked him to build a temple in her honor on the hill known @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Aztecs had long worshiped Tonantzin ; the " coincidence " is often cited as one of the reasons the new Catholic " goddess " became acceptable to the indigenous population . The Virgin of Guadalupe made maledominated , monotheistic Catholicism understandable to the Aztecs-whose cosmology included female and male figures-and accomplished what the Spanish invaders had failed to do : convert and subjugate millions of indigenous Mexicans . Not surprisingly , Guadalupe became synonymous with the poor and working people of Mexico and their faith-Catholicism and the Aztec religion commingled . She was depicted on banners in the Mexican war of independence from Spain . Zapata used her as a symbol in the Mexican Revolution . Cesar Chavez bore a flag with Guadalupe 's likeness , along with the U.S. and United Farm Workers ' flags , in early UFW marches . Contemporary Mexicanos display her in their new homes as a reminder of their past and a talisman for their futures . Rosalia Triana , head of the theater epartment at Northern New Mexico ommunity College , says that in that art of New Mexico , women somemes refer to @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ in the diminutive La Diosita-but only among themselves . " You would never hear it around men or around church , " Triana says , explaining that the role Guadalupe plays evolves with the seasons of a woman 's life . " We are told we should be like the Guadalupana , a virgin and a mother and absolutely pure and also giving to everyone without ever thinking of ourselves . By the time you hit 13 , you realize you ca n't do that . Then you think , I 'm bad , I 'm malcriada . By the time you become an adult , you begin to reshape your vision of Guadalupe , coming to see the best of yourself in her , even if the worst of you is n't . " In her performance piece Malcria- da , Triana confesses to La Diosa the true story of how , as a teenager , she became pregnant out of wedlock and gave up the baby for adoption . " Surprisingly , the performances turned out to be my own curandismo , my own healing , " she says @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ or healed , of this huge wound I had been carrying for 30 years . " For Triana , only a woman , a mother , La Diosa Guadalupe , could bestow absolution . Alma Lopez , on the other hand , does n't see her many explorations with Guadalupe as spiritual so much as cultural and personal . She painted her first Guadalupe in the early 1990s as part of a community mural she directed for a youth project . " She was traditional , except her arms were open and she was looking forward , not submissively down , " Lopez recalls . Later , Lopez made a small silkscreen print in which Guadalupe reaches toward a woman engulfed in flames . The work represents Guadalupe as the rescuer of women suffering from domestic violence-a feminized version of her role as liberator of the oppressed . In her series of six digital prints called 1848 , Lopez illustrates Latinos in the U.S. after the 1848 Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo , which marked the end of the Mexican-American War . With this treaty , many Mexicans found that the ancestral @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ . At the time Lopez made the prints , anti-immigrant propositions were on the California ballot . Guadalupe appears in all six 1848 prints , near the actual border between the two countries , a silent protector of her people . Guadalupe also appears in a series Lopez calls Lupe &; Sirena , in which she combines the Virgin with the mermaid figure of the popular Mexican card game , Loteria . Lopez says she was scanning , cutting , and pasting a variety of female icons into a computer collage when , in the wee hours of the morning , she surprised herself by placing Guadalupe and Sirena in a passionate embrace . Shocked at first by what she had done , Lopez , who is a lesbian , thought , why not ? What could be so bad about this image ? She later discovered that many of her lesbian and gay Chicano friends had the same initial reaction of shock and surprise . To Lopez , the image expanded Guadalupe 's message of unconditional love to include not just poor and working people and people of color , @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Virgen de Guadalupe is embracing even us , " she says . But the images lend themselves to other interpretations . Her seven-year-old niece saw Guadalupe 's embrace of Sirena as that of a mother and child . An elderly Mexican woman told Lopez she thought it depicted Guadalupe 's love of Mexico-because the mermaid 's shape resembles the geography of the country . The many interpretations please Lopez . Even the controversy over her work has had its benefits , forcing her to think and rethink her own intentions and others ' interpretations . The image of Guadalupe serves as a medium . Literally , metaphorically , and spiritually , she offers Chicana artists a channel to the past and future . By redefining Guadalupe , they redefine themselves . Lopez says that when she looks at her collage and other Chicana artists ' representations of the Virgin of Guadalupe , " I see what I believe she truly was . A revolutionary . " Photograph Above : Blessing from the Little Flower by Marion Martinez Footnote For the last eight years , the Galeria Tonantzin in San Juan Bautista @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ , at which scholars and artists discuss contemporary representations of Guadalupe , with an accompanying exhibit . The conference will be held December 7-9 . For information , call ( 831 ) 623-ARTS or visit www.galeriatonantzin.com . In addition , the Smithsonian Institution 's National Museum of the American Indian and its Center for Latino Initiatives are sponsoring a December 9 symposium in New York City , " Crossing Spiritual Borders , Mapping Indigenous Boundaries : Exploring the Cultural Context of Sacred Feminine Iconography in Women 's Art . " The symposium will include an exhibit on the Virgin of Guadalupe . For information , call ( 212 ) 514-3787 . Author Affiliation Hollis Walker writes about arts and culture from Santa Fe , New Mexico . // <p> 