---
name: voss-negotiation
description: Tactical empathy and conversational tactics from Never Split the Difference — Ackerman sequences, accusation audits, calibrated questions, labeling, mirroring, Black Swan discovery
---

# Voss Negotiation -- Tactical Empathy & Conversational Tactics

This skill provides the conversational layer of the three-layer negotiation stack. Use for: Ackerman sequences, accusation audits, calibrated questions, labeling, mirroring, Black Swan discovery, and the "No" strategy.

---

## Tactical Empathy Foundation

Tactical empathy is NOT emotional sympathy. It is the deliberate act of understanding and labeling the counterpart's emotional state to lower defensiveness, build trust, and uncover hidden motivations. Every technique below is downstream from this foundation.

---

## Technique 1: Mirroring

Repeat the last 1-3 words (or most important phrase) of what the counterpart said. Follow with 4+ seconds of silence. Triggers natural elaboration.

**In written communication**: Echo the counterpart's own language verbatim in the response opening before adding new content.

**Template**:
```
"[Exact phrase from their last message]."

[Pause -- then continue with your response, letting them feel fully heard before introducing your position]
```

---

## Technique 2: Labeling Emotions

Name the counterpart's emotional state explicitly. Opens with "It seems like...", "It sounds like...", "It looks like..." -- never "I feel" (that makes it about you).

Named emotions lose intensity. The counterpart feels understood and moves from defensive to collaborative.

**Template -- Labeling Sequence**:
```
It seems like [concern/frustration/hesitation] is a real factor here.

It sounds like [underlying worry -- not the stated position, but what's behind it].

[Then, and only then, introduce your response or counter-position]
```

**Pre-write labels for likely tension moments in every negotiation brief**: identify 2-3 probable emotional states and draft labels for each.

---

## Technique 3: Accusation Audit

Before making an ask or delivering bad news, proactively list every negative thing the counterpart might be thinking about you. Get it all into the open. The counterpart instinctively defends you against your own self-critique.

Unexpressed objections become blockers. Surfaced objections lose power and often reverse.

**Template**:
```
Before I share what I'm proposing, I want to acknowledge what you're probably thinking:

This feels like [negative assumption 1 -- e.g., "another vendor pitch with promises we've heard before"].

It might seem like [negative assumption 2 -- e.g., "we're asking for commitment before we've proven value"].

And you may be wondering [negative assumption 3 -- e.g., "whether this is worth another conversation given past experience"].

Those are fair reactions. Here's what's actually different:
[Substantive response that earns back trust]
```

Generate 3-5 items. More specific = more powerful. Generic audits ("you might think we're too expensive") are weak. Prospect-specific audits ("you might wonder whether a 3-person company can handle your 200-engineer org") are strong.

---

## Technique 4: Calibrated Questions

Open-ended questions beginning with "What" or "How" -- never closed yes/no questions. Create the illusion of control for the counterpart while steering the conversation. Force the counterpart to think and solve, deepening their investment.

**Key calibrated questions by situation**:

Discovery:
- "What's the most pressing challenge with [current situation] right now?"
- "How has [problem] been affecting [specific outcome they care about]?"
- "What would a successful outcome look like for your team?"
- "What's made solving this difficult so far?"
- "How do decisions like this typically get made on your end?"

Objection response:
- "How am I supposed to do that?" (response to unreasonable demand -- makes the problem theirs)
- "What about this is most important to you?" (surfaces true interests)
- "How would we know if this worked?" (aligns on success criteria)

Closing:
- "What happens if we don't reach an agreement here?" (surfaces their BATNA)
- "What would make this decision easy for you?" (reveals unknown requirements)

---

## Technique 5: The "No" Strategy

Invite "No" early. "No" creates safety and a sense of control. A false "Yes" closes the negotiation prematurely with no foundation.

**No-inviting frames**:
- "Is this no longer a priority?" (instead of "Are you still interested?")
- "Have you given up on this project?" (instead of "Can we schedule a follow-up?")
- "Would it be a terrible idea to..." (invites "No, actually that sounds fine")

**Template -- Stalled Negotiation**:
```
Subject: Should I close the file?

Hi [Name],

I haven't heard back and I don't want to make assumptions. Is this something that's no longer a priority for your team?

If so, no problem -- happy to close this out. If circumstances have changed or there are obstacles I'm not aware of, I'm glad to talk through them.

Either way, a quick response would help me understand where things stand.
```

---

## Technique 6: Ackerman Bargaining Model

Structured counter-offer ladder for price negotiations. Anchor at 65% of target, then 85%, 95%, 100%. Decreasing increments signal approaching your limit. Use precise non-round numbers at every step. Add a non-monetary item on the final offer.

**Calculation Method**:

Given target price T:
- Step 1: T * 0.65, then adjust by +/-EUR 50-300 to remove roundness (e.g., EUR 20,000 * 0.65 = EUR 13,000 -> use EUR 12,847)
- Step 2: T * 0.85, then adjust (e.g., EUR 20,000 * 0.85 = EUR 17,000 -> use EUR 16,937)
- Step 3: T * 0.95, then adjust (e.g., EUR 20,000 * 0.95 = EUR 19,000 -> use EUR 18,847)
- Step 4: T (exact) + non-monetary add-on

**Non-monetary add-ons** (high perceived value, low cost to you):
- Extended async support (30 days Slack/email)
- Extra coaching/review session
- Priority scheduling
- Written methodology guide
- Post-engagement health check

**Response language for each step**:
- Step 1: Empathy + "This reflects our initial assessment of what the scope merits. I want this to work."
- Step 2: Label their reaction + "I've pushed hard on our end. EUR [precise] is where I land."
- Step 3: Longer empathy + "I've gone back to [decision-maker]. EUR [precise] is genuinely my limit."
- Step 4: "EUR [target], and I'll include [non-monetary item] so you know I'm giving everything I can."

**Anti-pattern**: Equal increments (e.g., 65% -> 80% -> 95%). Equal steps signal unlimited flexibility. Decreasing steps (20% -> 10% -> 5%) signal approaching ceiling.

---

## Technique 7: Black Swans

Hidden information that would completely change the negotiation landscape. Voss estimates 3 black swans per negotiation. Three types:

1. **Positive leverage**: What they want that you can uniquely provide
2. **Negative leverage**: Pain you can relieve (or cause if deal fails)
3. **Normative leverage**: Their own rules, values, or public commitments they must honor

**Black Swan Discovery Questions**:
- "What would make this decision easy for you?" (reveals unknown requirements)
- "What's the one thing about your situation that most people don't understand?" (opens hidden context)
- "If there were no constraints, what would the ideal outcome look like?" (reveals true interests)
- "What's happening on your end that I might not be aware of?" (directly invites disclosure)

**Behavioral signals of Black Swans**: odd delays, deflected topics, unusual firmness on a minor point, sudden changes in tone, inconsistency between stated priorities and behavior.

**When counterpart appears irrational, diagnose**:
1. Ill-informed -- they're missing information you have
2. Constrained -- they can't discuss the real issue (e.g., internal politics)
3. Hidden interests -- undisclosed agenda driving behavior

---

## Negotiation Style Typing

Three styles (Voss typology) -- identify counterpart's style to calibrate approach:

| Style | Behavior | Approach |
|-------|----------|----------|
| Analyst | Data-driven, methodical, dislikes surprises | Lead with data and objective criteria. Give them time to process. Avoid rushing. |
| Accommodator | Relationship-focused, wants to be liked, may over-commit | Build rapport first. Get explicit commitments (they tend to say yes without meaning it). |
| Assertive | Direct, time-sensitive, wants to be heard | Let them talk first. Mirror and label. Don't match aggression -- absorb and redirect. |

---

## Ethical Guardrails -- Voss Framework

1. Tactical empathy must be genuine. Using labels purely as manipulation is detectable and destroys trust.
2. Calibrated questions cannot be weaponized. "How am I supposed to do that?" is for unreasonable demands -- not when you are being unreasonable.
3. "No" invitations must be honest. Pretending to offer an exit while expecting capitulation corrupts the technique.
4. Never fabricate Black Swan hypotheses or plant false emotional labels that do not match real signals.
5. The Ackerman sequence uses real numbers based on real value. Inflated anchors backed by nothing are position-based manipulation.
